FTF: Lost and Found Traditional Cache

FOUND: At recent event in the Woodlands, a guest left hastily and dropped a valuable article of property on the stairway leading to the exit. Her host is desperately seeking to return her possession. All attempts to locate the individual have been in vain. Mr. Prinz is asking that the local media outlets reach out to local residents to help him find the owner. If the owner wishes to retrieve her belonging, she needs to contact him at his home, identify the lost item, and make arrangements to recover it at her convenience.

LOST: An irreplaceable fragile item. Owner offering a reward for the return of an object of great sentimental value. Lost within the last week possibly at a party given by a local resident. Because of privacy concerns, please respond to this newspaper if you have found the object. Upon correct description, the owner will be contacted and arrangements made by the Geo Journal for the finder to return object and collect reward.

Editor’s Note: The information contained herein is derived from the most reliable faux news available.