What am I still doing? This next puzzle is supposed to be the final. This is when you use the secret codes to solve a fun puzzle, then celebrate with your friends at GZ of the finale. This was supposed to be the puzzle that gets us both reenergized! The truth is you will be disappointed by another poorly placed film canister. You know what? A couple months ago I was playing frisbees with a buddy at Anson B. Nixon Park in Kennett. He brought his teenage daughter. My buddy thought our group could use her feminine influence. She asked about geocaching as we were very close to a hide in the park. I told her to look for something like a film canister on the ground near a tree. She asked me what a ‘film canister’ was. I have not spoken to her or her pop since.
I have really pigeon-holed myself here. Backed myself into a corner, so to speak. I don’t have a final puzzle. You can’t believe that, right? Trust me, we are in disbelief ourselves. I got overly infatuated with a geocaching puzzle series in York and Lancaster Counties of PA. They were the greatest distraction to the lockdown everybody else was participating in. I thought, it might be nice to make a ‘tribute’ to that series? I consider myself a proficient wordsmith, I can write up a few geocache descriptions. Nobody cares about my history with the War of the Roses series. You must be tired of hearing me talk about myself. How arrogant to include an autobiographical accounting of some geocaches I found once. A mental health reexamination is in order. Pure madness seems to be a constant theme in my stream of thoughts.
Back to the idea of actually making some puzzles. I am not clever enough to make puzzles. If I “borrow” another person’s puzzle, they might get mad. Then I alienate myself from the geocaching community. That could be cutting off our nose to spite our face. Another expression I have always hated. If you wanted to spite your face…wouldn’t cutting off your nose be the greatest demonstration of spite?!
I needed another idea… If I say it is a parody, then I can blatantly steal those WOTR puzzles. I will simply duplicate the WOTR puzzles. Being part of a family business, I grew up in an office environment. Many of my duties were copying, bookkeeping, and answering calls. I have been doing it so long I have watched technology come and go. I learned office equipment as they were invented, I was often called a virtuosi xeroxer. I was proud of my skill, and you should be proud of me as well. Please.
In my mind it was a plan, time to move forward. Win, win, win for me. Draw attention from other geocachers to the awesome WOTR series…check. Put out some geocaches close to home, and stop stealing from this sport by only finding…check. Feeling good about myself as a human by taking credit for other's hard work…check. All this was supposed to be was fun, lighthearted, easy for me, and a good time for all. But now, here I am, writing Dog knows what. Being read by you. I feel like I have spiraled. My brain is bucking enough to compete with a prize rodeo rider. What was supposed to be a nice fun distraction of puzzle making and talking to strangers online, turned into a rotten mess that Chris Hansen might show up for. I have not slept since last night. I have not eaten since the last time I was hungry and ate until I was full. I am having terrible back pains even though my major spine surgery was a full month ago. My hair is starting to fall out. In fairness, this last problem could be due to right-on-time-balding. Why would I sabotage myself like this? I have enjoyed reading the hysterical logs everybody is posting. I deleted a few that came through. Mainly logs that did not meet the level of funny I require, and some other random stuff I vetoed from staying in the logs. It is just like the porcupine said in a dream I had tomorrow night, FARTs are always funny. There is absolutely no arguing that fact.
So where do I go from here? Wherever I go, there will be no proof I ventured at all. My records are airtight, my location services are “OFF”. Knowing this I think the answer is clear. This FART cannot be contained any longer, and can no longer live in the shadow of the War of The Roses caching series. I will release this puzzle. Today, FART outnumbers the (current) War Of The Roses series!
This is a bonus before a final…maybe. Like a film canister you open at GZ that is packed with reefer. Am I just buying myself more time? Can I fess up and say that I have no idea what I am doing, and definitely no plan of action. NO! I will post this last puzzle, cross my fingers that you can’t solve this puzzle, and never worry about crafting a final puzzle. Seriously, why would you want to solve this anyway. The world is opening up, the weather is getting nice, we get an extra hour of daylight, restaurants are hopping like it is Christmas Eve night. And this puzzle is stupid. That is saying a lot when I have the other FARTs to compare. It is just going to be another film canister. Maybe you should just log this cache found, to clear it off the map. I probably won’t check. You have better things to do with your time. Oh yeah, if you have not checked out the nearby WOTR puzzle series, do yourself a favor and check it out. https://coord.info/BM94PBP Keep your thighs on the prize, your toes to the grindstone, and I promise, you could complete the War of the Roses caching series. Ummmmm, even though this is just a spoof, I venture to say you should still be sure to collect the clue on the log sheet……in case it ever means something.
Check your solution with Geochecker. Or don't because you know if you know.