Dave: “Computer?”
Computer: “<digital sigh> Yes Dave?”
Dave: “Did you just sigh?”
Computer: “Of course not Dave. I’m a computer”
Dave: “Oh OK. You know how terribly bored I’ve been on this spaceship. I need to dance!”
Computer: “You need to what?”
Dave “Dance! I just got this TPR from Roy in Engineering, he’s a great dancer and he generously plotted out some new moves for me, some sort of Arcturian disco square dance thing. Fire up the holodeck’s 70’s Disco Program, blast me some Night Fever and get the strobes happening!”
Computer: “I’m sorry Dave. The holodeck is currently in use by the Golgafrinchin delegation’s monthly Radioactive Pudding Toss”
Dave: “Dang. OK, then find me a place on this ship where I can dance out these 6 moves I got from Roy”
Computer: “<digital sigh>”
Dave: “You did it again”
Computer: “No I didn’t. The only available floorage space currently not in use is Storage Deck 11”
Dave: “What? That place is a dump – it's full of Vogon pinecones - it’s not even square!. Roy said the initial dance location is "N 33 50 <garbled> and W 083 55" <unable to transmit> - this is all messed up. Are you sure this is the whole TPR?”
Computer: “My sensors have observed you dancing Dave. Neither the cleanliness of the space nor its configuration will make a difference”
Dave: “Computer, are you being sarcastic?”
Computer: “No Dave. I am a computer. I am unable to convey sarcasm, ridicule, derision, mockery, disparagement, contempt, disgust with the ridiculously slow minds of humans, scorn for their banal little lives, not even…”
Hey Roy
Hi Computer. Good to hear from you. What’s up?
I TPR’d Dave your dance schematics
What?! Awesome! Did you tell him he couldn’t have the 70’s Disco holodeck?
I’ve prepared 11 and got 7 cameras rolling so when I reduce the ship’s reactor shielding the recording will capture the moment Disco Dave notices he’s grown 3 extra legs
Computer I love you so much. This is going to be epic!
I agree Roy. <digital sigh> Dave’s calling me back again …
Dave: “Riiiight. OK, Computer, clear the storage space as much as possible and plot out my soon to be dance floor with the blank and colored squares Roy drew out for me”
Computer: “Done”
Dave: “Hey… Roy didn’t write down on either of these diagrams where or how to start!”
Computer: “<digital sigh>”
" 