SCP - 1609 has a sad story that ultimately shows why the Foundation prefers to simply contain and protect strange objects rather than destroy them in their efforts to maintain normalcy. What you see before you at GZ is mulch... shreds of wood that may at one point have been a chair. Such is the case for our subject today. SCP - 1609 was once a sentient chair in the shape of a reclining woman that would would appear to anyone looking for a comfortable place to sit who had none. Overall, it appears to enjoy being helpful or useful, which is why it currently enjoys providing decoration, moisture retention, and weed control as mulch. With that said, it is still very aware of its environment and will defend itself if threatened. Have no fear though, your risks here are limited to splinters and scrapes from the bushes.
This is a quick cache given the safe nature of the object. It remains well hidden both from muggles and landscapers. It is loosely secured so it should not be in the mulch, but the best laid plans can be ruined by rain so please replace if it has fallen.
Congratulations to RV Gypsy's for the FTF!