I watched a documentary last night about how pickles are made.
It was jarring.
What happens when you accidentally drop a pickle in Hawaiian Punch?
It becomes trop-pickle.
I had to choose between a gherkin and Vlasic.
I was in a dill-emma.
Why was a roadside vegetable stand selling pickles two-for-one?
It was the dill of the day.
Did you hear about that crazy pickle who thought he was a flower?
What a daff-o-dill!
Why was a driver pulled over for throwing a pickle at another car?
It wasn’t a Vlasic case of road rage, but it’s still Claussen quite a commotion.
What do you call a pickle that got run over on the road?
Road dill.
What’s a pickle’s life philosophy?
Never a dill moment.
What’s a pickle’s favorite show?
Dill or No Dill.
What’s a baby gherkin’s favorite TV channel?
Pickleodeon.
What do you get when you cross a pickle with an alligator?
A crocodill.
Why do gerkhins giggle a lot?
Because they’re pickle-ish.
What happens when life gives you pickles instead of lemons?
You dill with it.
Where is the Liberty Dill found?
In Phila-dill-phia.
What’s green and has two wheels?
A motorpickle.
Why do pickles wear glasses?
They’re legally brined.
What would happen if you got vinegar in the ear?
A case of pickled hearing.
Why did Costco stop selling 5-gallon jars of pickles?
Shelving them was cucumbersome.
Why are pickles in sandwiches always so polite?
They’re well-bread.
What do you call a pickle from the backwoods?
A hill-dilly.
What’s a pickle’s favorite book?
To Dill A Mockingbird.
What’s a cucumber’s favorite musical instrument?
A pickle-o.
What do you call a pickle you got at a cheap price?
A sweet dill.
Where do pickles go to buy a car?
The dillership.
What do you call a genius pickle?
A brine-iac.
Who’s a pickle’s favorite artist?
Salvador Dilli.
Where’s a pickle’s favorite place to go in London?
Pickle-dilly Square.
What do you say to a pickle in the morning?
Rise and brine.
On what radio station would you hear Bob Dillon?
Vlasic rock.
Why are pickles so jealous?
They are green with envy.