Oom Jan Se Koeie
There was a time when youthful exuberance would lead you by the nose and make you forget about life for a while specifically to teach you some of life’s lessons. It was on one such occasion that Oom Jan was sitting on his porch on the farm, overlooking his Brahmans in the veld just outside Bultplaas when Tant Jakobina said it was time to go take die siek koeie to the vet at the Ko-operasie. Of course, I decided to tag along for the ride – hence the exuberance. Better than going to school, I thought. And so, after helping to load the animals onto the laerug bokspring treiler, we headed south down to the Ko-op
After a short two hour drive and a pap wiel from the skerp klippe on the stofpad, we arrived at our destination just outside Dealesville on the way to Kimberley. There we saw Ouma Betsie with her witborsduiwe on her afdak. They were just sitting there waiting for a handout of vars mieliepitte from her voorskoot but she is adamant they must wait for the sun to reach the horizon first before they get any
When we parked at the vet, we could see Broer Pieta was there with nine of his karakoel skapies. Shame, they are so cute. Oom Jan told me to watch the Brahmans while he goes see Kaptein Schoeman at the police station langsaan while we wait for Broer Pieta to finish with the vet. He wanted to report that nasty incident the other day when Gatiep from the Drieoliedraaisaamlooprivier behind Oom Jan se plaas had too much to drink and his head felt as big as four spanspekke in the sun. That is when he went to Marai to visit. Jy weet mos… hy wou net biekie kuier…. But he knows he can’t kuier before six in the evening
You see, it was still afternoon on a Friday, en jy weet wat dit is…… was around twenty past three. Marai lived on the farm about half an hour by baiesukkel just other side of Oom Jan se plaas. So, with Gatiep tanked up, he set of east to go visit Marai
But he got a bit aggressive when Marai told him to go home.. “HUISTOE MET JOU, GATIEP!” she said, and that made him very cross. Long story short, Marai’s cousin Alfie smacked poor Gatiep that he ended up with three teeth less than before he started on the brannewyn met eishh en Coke Zero. Arme Gatiep. But that was not the issue. You see, when Gatiep finally got on his baiesukkel and went home, he left the main gate open where Kirneels – that is Oom Hendrik’s new Bullmastiff – got out and came to our farm
Hell, man… that was tragies… four hantams and a few cocks lost their heads, a cat lost a leg and Antie Peronella’s best chinchilla is nou Hemel toe. Wrede hond daardie. Ek sê jou…
And if that was not enough, he peed against Oom Jan se splinternuwe bakkie se back wheel too! Onbeskof! Gatiep must pay for all this, especially the bakkie’s wheel! He must sommer wash the whole bakkie for that!
In any case, back at the vet while I was waiting I saw that Broer Pieta had to leave all nine karakoel skapies behind for treatment from that bad rash they got from the shaving the other day. I am sure Tant Sannie set the blades too skerp for their delicate skins. A little aloe vera cream for their delicate, soft velletjies and a bottle hot milk with honey before bedtime for the skapies will do them just great. The vet has a special kraal with a roof where siek skapies can sleep on the new hay that the Ko-op donated last week
As it was, back at the cop shop, Gatiep was brought in for “questioning”. I heard he got eight lashes for the dog killing the chinchilla, but I know he only got a warning… You see, Gatiep rents a room at Kaptein Schoeman’s agterplaas, so the Kaptein was just hitting his desk to make it sound like Gatiep was getting brandstrepe on his sitvlak
After Oom Jan came back he said that Gatiep has agreed to stay away from Marai for two months and to wash the bakkie every weekend for the rest of the year. That was good enough punishment, not that it brings back the hantams and their cocks… or the chinchilla
Finally Broet Pieta was klaar and the vet came out to see the Brahman cows. He listened to their hearts, stomachs and kidneys and said to Oom Jan “hulle is nie siek nie… hulle gaan kalf!” and with a sigh of relief it was back on the road back home to where I had to answer a few questions why the teacher was looking for me today… Eishhhhhh
Such is life….
One day oppi plaas with Oom Jan and his Brahmans, Gatiep with his brannewyn en die Coke Zero
