Finn Nailsbane Returns!
When last we saw Finn*, he was living his best life on the banks of Nashoba Brook in Acton but then times changed and he had to go…for reasons. Finn left in the morning with everything he owned in a little black case and swam away, swam away, swam away…ahhhhhhh.
Finn the Biker Dude
Finn decided to swim west because he liked the pretty colors in the sky when the sun went down. Somewhere near Worcester, he was swimming down the turnpike when THONK! When Finn came to, he saw a circle of road-hardened women staring down at him. They were the Sucubbi, a notorious all female biker gang who drank heavily and did lots of crimes. But these tough gals thought Finn was adorable and made him their mascot then and there.
Finn embraced the biker lifestyle with gusto. He drank like a fish (admittedly not a stretch), bit people for no reason, and broke or stole lots of stuff. Finn also used his roguish charm woo no less than three of the Succubi into romantic dalliances. However, this would end badly for Finn…very badly.
Our absurdly confident young land shark thought himself clever enough to claim the gang’s leader Bam Bam as his main squeeze while spinning Trixie and Thumper as side chicks. Finn muttered smugly to himself “I’ve got this, they'll never catch on.”
Well catch on they did and Finn quickly learned how the Succubi deal with cheaters. In an act of sisterly solidarity, the entire gang surrounded the hapless Finn and beat him with the fury of battle-crazed Valkyries! Finn now has a permanently bent dorsal fin and can no longer pronounce the word sassafras. Finn licked his wounds and resumed swimming ever westward.
Finn the Felon
A few weeks later, Finn swam into Bobby Chakravarthy’s Bonzi Jade Casa de Pho south of Witchita, Kansas where he drank twice his body weight in sake and passed out on the sushi buffet.
A criminal indictment details what happened next. Prosecutors alleged that Finn, “a diminutive land adapted hammerhead shark,” attacked one Yume Tanaka, a tourist from Osaka Japan when she mistook him for sashimi and tried to add him to her plate.
Finn inflicted a total of 37 tiny bite wounds on Ms. Tanaka and four of her traveling companions. One Vladimir Gomez, a waiter at the restaurant, intervened and forced Finn to flee the premises by repeatedly blasting him with a fire extinguisher. Police later apprehended Nailsbane at the nearby Liquid Diet Lounge where officers found him in “a tequila induced stupor.”
As a result of this incident, Finn has been charged with multiple counts of assault and battery and felony dine and dash. Finn was released from prison pending trial after an unknown benefactor posted bail.
Finn Does Sin City
A free fish again, Finn hit Vegas! He swam into the Grand Cabana Casino, accidentally bumped into a slot machine and instantly one won $10,000.
Finn used his newfound wealth to host a party in his luxury suite that raged for nearly three days. The affair was wild and debauched even by the standards of hedonistic Las Vegas. Among his guests were a school of Brazilian piranhas, a dozen different shark species, three rival narwhal gangs, various C and D list celebrities and the largest sperm whale on the planet.
It took over 50 police officers and security personnel to clear out the party. As one might expect, the damage caused by Finn’s fête was extensive. Also, he thought the alcohol in the suite's mini bar was complementary so he had it refilled 47 times to fuel the festivities. After being ousted from the casino, Finn was handed a bill for $27,562.37 which is a huge issue because Finn is a plastic figurine with a net worth of $0.00 and no real earning potential.
This epic adventure was a very mixed bag for our impulsive young Hammerhead. He’d had the time of his life but he was also battered, awaiting trial and hopelessly in debt.
It was time to go home. Finn is now back in the Nashoba Valley, Littleton to be precise. He’s been laying low and pondering the consequences of his many recent suboptimal life choices.
If you would like to help Finn out, you could recommend a good chiropractor or lawyer. Also, he would very much appreciate large sums of cash.
Finn is not in the stone wall.
*Finn's backstory from the now achieved Finn Nailsbane Cache:
You might be wondering, who the heck is Finn Nailsbane? Well, Finn is a Nashoba land shark. Ahhh…Hrothgar, what’s a Nashoba land shark? Please allow me to explain. The Nashoba land shark is a nearly extinct species of shark indigenous exclusively to the watershed of Nashoba Brook. This amazing fish can not only breathe air but can swim through it as if it were water. I sense your skepticism. Finn is a shark but also a geocache so the laws of nature do not apply. No, I’m not making this up. [Narrator Morgan Freeman interjects] “Hrothgar was, in fact, making this up. Hrothgar makes lots of thing up.” Thank you for your contribution to American cinema Mr. Freeman but Finn Nailsbane is real, as local geocachers will soon discover!
_______________________________
*Winter weather may make this cache more difficult to find*
Please be nice to nature.
Also, please note the location and orientation of the cache container before you retrieve it and put it back just as you found it.
Thank you for your consideration.
For maps and more information on Town Forest conservation land: https://littletonconservationtrust.org/property/town-forest/
Permission to hide geocaches on Littleton conservation land was granted by the Conservation Trust of Littleton, MA. https://littletonconservationtrust.org/
Special thanks to Littleton Conservation Trustee Dustin Neild.
A gift from Hrothgar, the self-styled sovereign of the Nashoba Valley!