The Ballad of the Polar Mad: A Cape Solstice Tale
(In the style of Samuel Taylor Coleridge)
I. The Summoning
It was the eve of southern gloom,
When sun at noon doth faintly loom,
And winter bites with teeth of frost,
Where sea and sky in grey are lost.
The tide did heave a solemn moan,
By Cape Town’s beach of shale and stone,
And in the waning solstice light,
A clan emerged from out the night.
Cloaked not in fur, nor boots, nor fire,
But wet with joy and strange desire,
These souls unhinged by reason’s chain,
Embraced the cold, defied the sane.
II. The Gathering of the Odd
One by one, from rock and glen,
Came women, children, bearded men,
Each bearing logs and flasks of cheer,
And plastic tubs of diving gear.
They spoke in code, in coords and clues,
Of caches lost and hidden views,
Of freezer dips and arctic thrills—
And laughed like loons atop the hills.
“Lo!” cried Mad Eliot, be-goggled and lean,
“I tracked the final cache unseen—
Beneath the stone where seals do bark,
It waits beneath the writhing dark!”
“By Neptune’s nose!” said Salty Bess,
“Let’s freeze our minds and strip our dress!
No thermal vest shall touch my skin—
I’ll plunge where only fools begin!”
III. The Ritual Begins
With chants not found in sacred writ,
They stripped and ran without a wit—
Into the clutch of winter tide,
Where even penguins shun to bide.
The sea did shriek and slap their limbs,
While gulls wheeled out in spectral hymns,
Yet onward swam these solstice fools,
Defying gods and all sane rules.
A madness bound in love and glee,
They frolicked in that cursed sea—
Their teeth like castanets did clack,
But none, not one, was turning back.
IV. The Cache of Ice and Fire
Then came the second rite, precise—
The Hunt for Cache of Ice and Ice.
With GPS in numbing hand,
They scoured the beach, they dug the sand.
Through kelp and drift and secret mark,
They searched beneath a weathered bark,
And found—a tin! So damp, so sweet,
With logbook cold and musty treat.
“Sign, my brethren!” shouted Finn,
“Record our joy, this yearly sin!
Let those who come on solstice night
Know madness walked here once in light.”
V. The Solstice Fire and Farewell
They danced around the driftwood flame,
Each heart aglow with chilled acclaim.
No shame they bore, nor hint of pain—
Just dripping limbs and frozen brain.
And as the moon crept up the dune,
They raised their flasks beneath its rune:
“To all who swim when others flee,
To all who cache by storm and sea,
To madness shared and senses shed—
We toast the ice, and dream the dread!”
And so, they fade into the foam,
Each to their own wild frozen home—
Till next the sun lies low and grey,
And solstice calls them back to play.
The Details
Polar Bears gather once per year on Clifton 4th Beach on the Saturday closest to the Winter Solstice - Mid Winter - to do what any self respecting Polar Bear would do - have a swim! Join your fellow icentric Polar Bear cachers for an icy Atlantic dip.
You do not have to swim but read the logs of those who attended in previous years for some motivation. The 2024 event - Ursus Maritimus Cedit Mare XI - listing can be found here. Even if you have an inkling that you would like to attend please submit an attend log as then I can update you with important information concerning the event should things change.
Bring your swimming kit and something warm to put on afterwards - coffee in flasks and a bit of sherry help too.
Are you brave enough to swim? Or will you just cheer the others on.
The Swim is at 10:00 so arrive before that to make the group dash into the ocean.
The event will end by 11:30 so you must attend before its over!
Please take loads of pics and upload then in your attend logs.