Gram's Will Mystery Cache
SkinGuy: To all who helped me look -- thanks!
Gram has me pretty well set for life -- might be time to hide a cache or two...
Geo.
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Needless to say, it's NOT at the listed coordinates...
GRAM’S WILL:
I, Ann Abigail (Gram) Cacher, being of sound mind and cranky disposition, do hereby declare my last will and testament.
To my son, Frank: I leave nothing. That’s NADA. ZIP ZILCH. ZERO. You were a good-for-nothing leech and a deadbeat while I was alive, and you won’t be getting anything now that I’m gone. I look forward to your sleepless nights wondering where all the time and money you’ve wasted have gone…
To my daughter-in law, Re-blech-a – ah, er, Rebecca: You can have the collar I saved from my dog Fido. It might help you keep that worthless son of mine in line. Other than that, you get the same NOTHING that Frank is entitled to.
To my adorable grandson, George (“Geo”). You are the sole reason that I’m thankful for having a son. You’ve brought enough sunshine into my otherwise dreary life to almost make me forget about those slugs masquerading as parents that you have. You have all my wit, all my cleverness, and probably most of my stubborn streak…
You get it all.
Now, Geo, I know that your parents will right now be howling so hard that their empty heads may collapse – they’ll want to get my wealth away from you. Please make sure that this doesn’t happen!
I’ve spoken to my lawyers, and they were unable to provide me with any iron-clad guarantees that your *ahem* parents would not find some stinking loophole to use. Thus, I came up with my own plan: I’ve left my riches out for anyone to find them. I have every confidence in you, Geo, that you can fulfill my last wish and find that which I have left for you – just as I’m completely sure that those nimrods Frank and Rebecca don’t have a snowball’s chance at doing so.
Rebecca, dear: take a pill – it’ll calm you down.
I’ll send you on your way, sweet Geo, with a list of things that you need to find for me. These specific things will guide you to your fortune.
Please find:
A cure for the common collision. (5,6)
Husk-wrapped Mexican food secretly fed to the media. (6,7)
Where Aladdin's pal sits after a bank robbery. (5,7,5)
The demise of the black-belt murderer. (6,6,4)
Good luck, and all my love!
Your Gram
**Edited -- blame Gram's lawyers**
Additional Hints
(Decrypt)
lryybjcvaxjuvgrbenatr
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