Please note Use of geocaching.com services is subject to the terms and conditions
in our disclaimer.
Here's an uptown cache for you.
If you insist on night caching you may wish to seek the guidance of MaumeeWino. For a bottle of Ripple, he will guide you to the cache coordinates. Throw in a couple of Tony Packo's Hungarian hot-dogs (Hot or cold, doesn't matter.) and Lamar will take you on a guided tour of Toledo's uptown underbelly. This tour is not recommended for the squimish or the slow of foot. MaumeeWino may be found in dumpster #5773, about 110 yards upriver from the cache. Knock lightly. His coordinates often change based upon events held in Prominade Park.
Update: 8 Jul 07
Our Night Tour Guide, Lamar, is no longer living in his refuse unit at Promenade Park. Late on the night of 29 May 07 Lamar accosted a dumpster babe from Roswell, New Mexico, and her critter. It is presumed that Lamar took umbrage that they were attempting to mooch on his turf and proceeded to put the hurt on her. The unfortunate consequence of his action is that she and her critter turned the table upon him and during the melee proceeded to knock the ever-lovin’ tar (PC) right out of him. Two of Lamar’s associates attempted to intervene upon his behalf. They too were vanquished within a whisker of extreme prejudice.
After an intense hour and a half standoff the SWAT team from the Toledo Police Department was called. In an effort to avoid further bloodshed they summoned the Toledo Fire Division’s Hazmat Squad and 5 (five) pumping units. Under the direct supervision of TFD’s Chief Bell, a total of 26 fire hoses were turned on the dumpster babe from Roswell, New Mexico, and her critter. They shot 27,256 gallons of water per minute at her for more than 40 minutes. The effect was finally overwhelming. Chief Bell then halted the dousing and the SWAT team was able to easily capture her and her critter by utilizing an elephant net from the Toledo Zoo.
The injured were eventually removed in unmarked, black Chevy-Suburbans with tinted windows. According to eyewitnesses the area was then cleared by members of the Hazmat Squad wearing full bio-hazard suits with veltilators. Several picture phones were confiscated by the police.
Strangely all attempts to obtain additional information about what actually happened that fateful night have been futile. Nothing was mentioned in The Toledo Blade, one off America’s finest newspapers, and a premier bird cage liner. Public Information Officers from the police department and the fire division say that not much took place that night and it was actually kind of quiet. No one seems to know anything about the dumpster babe from Roswell, New Mexico, and her critter, or, Lamar and his two associates. It’s almost as if they never existed.
Two good things have transpired because of what happened that historic night. The area surrounding ‘It’s Just a Fluke’ has been upgraded, possibly as a result of Lamar’s heroic efforts on behalf of the city. In addition, The Honorable Carty (“It’s just not right!”) Finkbiner has donated dumpster #5773 to The Smithsonian Institution as a tribute to the talent, ingenuity and utter fearlessness displayed by the homeless of Toledo, Maumee Bay and vicinity.
Update 8 July 2008
Life on the Maumee has slowed as summer’s temperatures have climbed. The turf wars of spring have been tenuously settled and most are content to live and let live.
Lamar has returned from Club Lampoc and has easily settled back into his old haunts. Much changed during his federally supervised California stay. The Sports Arena and Brenner Marine are gone and Pride Toledo took a couple of good hits. Carty is still at the city’s helm working mightily to keep it afloat.
Strangely, Lamar has had little to say about his time at Club Lampoc. He appears well fed and healthy despite the pronounced head twitch. There are rumors that he has weekly meetings with some fed suits in dark glasses who pick him up at Promenade Park and take him who knows where. Some of the denizens are jealous because Lamar appears a bit high upon his return. All in all, things are running as smooth as can be expected.
It is still advisable to watch your six while on this cache. Some who inhabit the area do not play well with others.
Update August 14, 2010
A lot of water has passed the old Fluke since the last update. What with the terrible heat streak this summer, Lamar forsook his dumpster in Promenade Park and headed to the Traverse City area. The last we heard from him he was staying in a deserted hulk just outside of a marina on Grand Traverse Bay. “Cooler!” says he. I also hear that Ptomaine Pterri is up there, too. So it is advised to keep an eye out while hunting this cache. Probably best done during the day light hours.
Updated on 20 April 2011
There’s been something going on down at Promenade Park. Petty crime is flourishing again and there’s no sense of ordnung any more. I’ve tried to keep up on the area but it’s getting harder all the time what with getting old and all that.
On this occasion I had to call in some old markers. It took a lot of time but here’s the gist of it. I checked it, personally.
His former home is back on dumpster status, like he’d never been there at all. And nobody is saying anything. The docks are quiet, tomb quiet. I had to resort to blackmail to pry the information out of a deceitful denizen and even then it didn’t all check out. For example, the Department for State Security no longer is interested in him.
The word is that he had taken up with a secretive sort of floozy by the name of Rufia, or, something like that, and moved to Preppysburg. Seems she didn’t take too much to living downtown and across the river. So now the happy twosome are squatting somewhere around the Preppysburg Boat Club. Nobody’s quite sure exactly where. And maybe that's why OConnFam didn't see him.
Update: 30 Sept 12
It has been quite some time since I updated the write-up on this cache. Lamar was dumped by his fair-thee-well female friend. It seems that she kicked him out of their Preppysburg dumpster when he insisted on installing an attached donkey house to their humble abode. She claimed some sort of allergic reaction to donkeys no matter what the size. It’s surprising since living with Lamar would totally obliterate any other odor.
During Navy Week last August he showed up back on the west side of the mighty Maumee. To the surprise of many and the consternation of all he is now squatting on a tiny parcel of land close to The Toledo Maritime Academy.
Somehow he purloined a galley pass to one of the Canadian frigates. That contributed greatly to his overall fat content I can assure you. No longer lean and mean he is now properly insulated for the coming winter. .
It was during this time that he entered a symbiotic relationship with the new owners of Tony Packo’s. So, if there is any reason to bribe the boy, most anything from Packo’s will do quite nicely.
Good Hunting and, as always, Watch Your Six!!!
Additional Hints
(No hints available.)