Is That Kudzu That I See? Traditional Cache
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Is That Kudzu That I See?
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(regular)
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If you grew up in the South as I did, the region's favorite vegetation needs no introduction. When you seek your parking space to search for the cache, just pull in between the vines. If you look close enough, you will see the space. BE CAREFUL ENTERING AND EXITING THE PARKING SPACE FROM THE HIGHWAY. You do not want to be seeking the spot with an eighteen wheeler on your tail. Do not park in anyone's driveway (it's farther away than you need to be anyway). If you take too long looking for the cache, your car may just disappear below a green mass. If you happen to find Jimmy Hoffa in there somewhere, please contact the nearest FBI office. For those of you that may be interested in cultivating a fine kudzu patch in your own back yard, I have included the following instructions:
How to Grow Kudzu
All you beginning gardeners and transplanted northerners out there might want to consider growing kudzu as a fine way to launch out into the great adventure of gardening in the south. (Notice how I tactfully refrained from using the word "damnyankees"). Kudzu, for those of you not already familiar with it, is a hardy perennial that can be grown quite well by the beginner who observes these few simple rules:
Choosing a Plot:
Kudzu can be grown almost anywhere, so site selection is not the problem it is with some other finicky plants like strawberries. Although kudzu will grow quite well on cement, for best results you should select an area having at least some dirt. To avoid possible lawsuits, it is advisable to plant well away from your neighbor’s house, unless, of course, you don't get along well with your neighbor anyway.
Preparing the Soil:
Go out and stomp on the soil for a while just to get its attention and to prepare it for kudzu.
Deciding When to Plant:
Kudzu should always be planted at night. If kudzu is planted during daylight hours, angry neighbors might see you and begin throwing rocks at you.
Selecting the Proper Fertilizer:
The best fertilizer I have discovered for kudzu is 40 weight non-detergent motor oil. Kudzu actually doesn't need anything to help it grow, but the motor oil helps to prevent scraping the underside of the tender leaves when the kudzu starts its rapid growth. It also cuts down on the friction and lessens the danger of fire when the kudzu really starts to move. Change the oil once every thousand feet or every two weeks which ever comes first.
Mulching the Plants:
Contrary to what may be told by the Extension Service, kudzu can profit from a good mulch. I have found that a heavy mulch for the young plants produces a hardier crop. For best results, as soon as the young shoots begin to appear, cover kudzu with concrete blocks. Although this causes a temporary setback, your kudzu will accept this mulch as a challenge and will reward you with redoubled determination in the long run.
Organic or Chemical Gardening:
Kudzu is ideal for either the organic gardener or for those who prefer to use chemicals to ward off garden pests. Kudzu is oblivious to both chemicals and pests. Therefore, you can grow organically and let the pests get out of the way of the kudzu as best they can, or you can spray any commercial poison directly on your crop. Your decision depends on how much you enjoy killing bugs. The kudzu will not mind either way.
Crop Rotation:
Many gardeners are understandably concerned that growing the same crop year after year will deplete the soil. If you desire to change from kudzu to some other plant next year, now is the time to begin preparations. Right now, before the growing season has reached its peak, you should list your house and lot with a reputable real estate agent and begin making plans to move elsewhere. Your chances of selling will be better now than they will be later in the year, when it may be difficult for a prospective buyer to realize that underneath those lush green vines stands an adorable three-bedroom house.
If by chance you should happen to discover the cache, please conceal it for the next cacher. Of course if you don't with a little more rain this year or even no rain at all the kudzu will probably do the job for you in short time. Just a note for those worrying about being kidnapped by the kudzu themselves: the cache was not covered with kudzu when hidden; but no matter how far away the kudzu was at that time; how long can that last?
Additional Hints
(Decrypt)
Whfg nf uneq nf n ebpx
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