ISAG Bug

1. If you don't find it in 15 minutes, you ain't going to find it today. Break off the search immediately. Someone else will find it, possibly leaving a sloppy log that gives the location away. Between that and geo-trails developing over time, you might be able to find it after two or three more tries.
2. Trick your caching partner into believing that you've already found the presently searched for cache and tell him or her that you don't want to spoil their fun by giving them any clues. Once they do the work, then you may sign the log with a large grin, while your partner exclaims our motto, "You suck!"
3. Never, under any circumstances, ask anyone for a hint. Doing so demonstrates weakness and lack of principle. You demonstrate enough of that by tricking people into finding caches for you.
4. Always log your DNFs. The vast collection of DNFs you'll amass will convince everyone that you truly do suck at Geocaching. You may even wish to log DNFs for caches for which you haven't even searched because you thought they would be too hard. After all, it's a Did Not Find, not a Did Not Search. However, it's bad form to log DNFs for distant caches you could not have reached while you're thinking you couldn't find them, so just log DNFs for caches you're too lazy to get off your ass and try to find locally. Of course, if you actually do search for them, more often than not the result will be a DNF, anyhow.
5. It is OK to admit that you've been to a cache site before and not found the cache. This is not the same as asking for a hint; however, helpful and considerate Geocachers who are proud of their own sleuthing abilities will always be glad to drop one.
6. On long hikes, pretend that you're stiffening up or cramping. That way, your cache-mates will feel sorry for you and, in turn, they will do all the heavy lifting and reaching.
7. Never bring a pen to sign those pesky nano and micro logs. Complain in your on-line logs that you're getting old and forgetful. You'll be subjected to scorn, but so what?
8. If another cacher calls for a hint about a cache you own or have found, be cordial and helpful. Ask about his or her spouse and how the Jeep is running. Toward the end of the conversation, make a quip about a cache you think might be hard to find that you know the other cacher has found and on which you've just invoked ISAG Rule #1. The cacher will proudly describe his or her search and what they found. You can then go back and find it on your own. This is not the same as calling for a hint (see ISAG Rule #3) if the other cacher initiated the call and the subject of Geocaching originated at the other end.
9. Regarding FTFs, should you be so lucky through some odd quirk of fate as to be the first to find a cache that has been sitting there for a while because no one else is interested in it, please restrain the "Woo Hoo" crap. No dances, either. Act like you've been there before. You have! You happened to spot the owner hiding it the other day. That's the only way you could have found the damn thing.
10. Write long, bombastic log entries and cache descriptions. That way, instead of dazzling them with your brilliance, you'll baffle them with your bull****.
11. Finding and logging your own caches or caches you helped hide is permissible only in the following two circumstances: a) You were running late for an appointment with your shrink, so you told a buddy where to hide the cache and then departed, and b) You are a reviewer and you accompany someone hiding a cache but when he or she hides it, you close your eyes, cover them with your hand, and say "No peekies!" Then, it is permissible to come back at a later time and log a find. (Assuming you can find the damn thing. Rule #1 applies here.)  (Rev. 6/1/11)
12. Wait at least six months to do your on-line logs. You're busy, lazy, whatever! Cache owners don't really need to know that you've been there. Your counts are not important. Who cares? On the other hand, log all DNFs proudly and promptly, because your true talents are in this area. Do not let fellow ISAGers down! We want the blind to lead the blind here. (Rev. 6/1/11)
13. You may log a physical cache that you have not found and have not signed the cache log if ALL of the following are true: 1) you're pretty damn sure you found where the cache was at some point, 2) you call the owner (the later at night, the better) to ask if that sounds right, 3) you politely ask the owner if you may log it because you must be in close proximity to its former location, 4) you grow more insistent when the owner balks, and 5) the owner agrees just to get you off the phone and go back to bed. If officially logged on Geocaching.com, this type of find will hereafter be referred to as a "Rationale Find." (Rev. 6/27/11) 

Normally, individual membership is voluntary, based upon the realization of one's personal Geocaching limitations and one's firm commitment to uphold the basic tenets of ISAG conduct delineated above. However, membership shall be automatic and mandatory should the cacher commit one or more of the following egregiously heinous caching offenses, which collectively are known as The Seven Deadly Sins:

1. Nanotony. Conceiving or causing to exist more than one single, routine, undistinguished in-forest nanocache at any given point in time, as it were.
2. Pollutiony. Placing one's personal calling card, particularly if it incorporates a mug shot of one's ugly face or a pictorial representation of one's nuclear or extended family, in caches belonging to others so they can rot, get moldy, and attract flies, without obtaining a prior cache pollution permit from the GeoQueen (now retired from Geocaching, so good luck!).
3. Microloggery. Personally signing or causing to be signed any in-cache field log with a rubber stamped entry lacking creativity and appropriate bombast, unless the demised cache is a letterbox, but even then I'm just sayin'.
4. Lassitude. Similarly, employing cut-and-paste to replicate a terse, trite on-line log entry amongst all of or a significant proportion of one's finds on a given day, week, month, or century (e.g., "Found while camping at Wekiwa Springs State Park.").
5. Walmartitude. Casing a strip mall parking lot trying to decide just which light pole base would be the perfect spot for one's new, lame-*** micro. This is ALWAYS an offense.
6. Travel Buggery. Not bothering to check the goals of a travel bug or GeoCoin before summarily extricating it from a cache and taking it 1,000 miles in the opposite direction of its desired relocation.
7. Audacity. Formally known as Felonious DOMPing, calling a cache owner for hints when a cache has not yet been found and the offender sucks so badly at Geocaching that he can't find it. This is known as an Assisted FTF, which is functionally equivalent to calling for help when you cannot figure out how to get your wife pregnant and then remaining on the phone while trying out the suggested technique.