Hahaha! In my email this morning:
From: <a href="deleted" rel="nofollow">i</a>[/i]
Date: Thu, 16 Jun 2005 23:34:46 EDT
Subject: Insurance Claim
To: rjferret
Dear Sir:
We regret to inform you that coverage on your 2005 White Jeep Wrangler was not in effect at the time of your most unfortunate collision. For future reference, all Jeeps must have traveled at least 10 miles from their point of origin before being reported as stolen, MIA, left too long in a cache, damaged, or [i]flattened[/i].
We do hope that you are able to reassemble your jeep and send it on its travels despite its [i]flattened[/i] condition. Due to the high demand of the 2005 Jeeps, we feel that potential handlers will welcome even a [i]flattened[/i] Jeep. Some recommendations from our top mechanics and repair crew include the use of super glue and white paint # GC 05. If all else fails, a zip lock baggie may be used to transport the parts together.
We look forward to servicing your Jeep in the future, assuming it meets the Groundspeak guidelines for coverage, including but not limited to: [i]stays in a cache less than 48 hours but greater than 24 hours, travels to states outside of point of origin, timely logging of jeep whereabouts at all times, policy may be cancelled for handling of jeep by anyone other than a registered user of geocaching.com, attendance of non approved geo events, and parking outside of designated coordinates.[/i]
Furthermore, at no time, may a Jeep be displayed from, or attached in any way, to a belt or belt loop. This act immediately voids any coverage and Jeep will not be held responsible for owners who display their Jeeps in such a rude and arrogant manner.
Finally, we encourage you to submit a photo of your [i]flattened[/i] Jeep for submission into the contest, as we realize you will sorely be needing another. An essay detailing the events on the night in question will also be eligible for entry.
Sincerely,
Joe W. Jeepster
Shameless Self Promotion Manager for Jeep, Inc.
100 Wrangler Blvd
Grand Cherokee, WY 12345
1 800 JEEPS4U