UK caches only please

Stachybotrys chartarum, also called Stachybotrys atra, Stachybotrys alternans or Stilbospora chartarum, is a black mould that produces its conidia in slime heads. It is sometimes found in soil and grain, but the mould is most often detected in cellulose-rich cache containers, particularly those containing a few travel bugs and geocoins. Most commonly affected are those 'Travel Bug Hotels', especially the ones with conditions and clauses to keep the price low. You know the ones:

"you must leave at least 4 TB's in this hotel at any one time. If there is only 4 in the hotel you must not remove any of them. But feel free to discover them" ....

"You may not remove any TB's from this hotel unless you have one to swap it with"

"I collect TB's and bring them back and place them in my TB hotel for others to enjoy"

This must stop!

Innocent travelers are being infected by this horrible affliction and festering away. What's more they get that musty odour that spreads to your hands and just will not wash off.

It is well known^[1] that Lady Macbeth (a keen cacher) was helping her husband discover the TBs in 'King Duncan's TB hotel' cache in his rooms when she got some on her hands:

"Here's the smell of the mould still. All the perfumes of Arabia will not sweeten this little hand" Macbeth Act 5, Scene 1, Page 3

(The Macbeth response was probably a bit OTT. Had they had Stachy in their possession none of the nastiness that followed need have happened.)

Worse still is the fact that innocent people (Muggles) are getting infected when they rob a TB Hotel blind. It happens!

With this TB in your possession you are obliged to rescue any trapped travelers, leaving it as desolate and inviting as Bates Motel. This leaves you free of blame and you can drop this TB in their place. You are obeying the mission of this TB...... Who could blame you. Or if you really want to be mean, move this one on as well!

Please keep Stachy no longer than two weeks as per geocaching guidelines, and that keeps everyone happy as Larry. Besides that, prolonged exposure to this TB will cause you to become infected yourselves. Once infected you will be considered a lousy scumbag for one whole month......and you'll smell funny. Not that you'd notice it yourself, but people will have a tendency to move away from you. They may not say anything to you at Events, for instance, but will probably avoid shaking your hand or touching you inappropriately. They will quietly mock you in the streets (usually from downwind), you may just hear the whispering on the wind. Don’t be surprised if some kind soul tapes an infected cross and air freshener on your front door. A blessing or a curse. You decide. 

Roll of dishonour....

.....Kept Stachy longer than they should and is now infected from this date, and will be clear in one month.

Roll of honour....

.....I saved this number of TBs from potential Black Mould infection.

18/1/14 - Seaglass Pirates saved a total of 9 TBs from 'It's Bin 6 Years' in a daring dawn, SAS style, raid .........complete with police sirens and helicopters.

^[1] Someone down the pub told me that a friend of a friend of an associate thought so.