Weetabix the Builder

To have breakfast. Preferably Weetabix, but actually any breakfast will do!

For as long as I can remember I have loved Weetabix and consider it to be the finest breakfast cereal in the world, maybe the best food of any type in the world. When I say "love", I mean head over heels, obsessed and totally smitten. I often get through a box of 48 biscuits every fortnight. 

But there is a problem. My love affair with Weetabix is based on it being served only and exactly as I like it. This is where the obsession steps up a notch. When I see "serving suggestions" on the side of a packet, involving jam, berries, cheese etc, I tend to go a little queasy. Supermarket own brand equivalents are the work of Beeelzebub himself and are NOT ACCEPTABLE!!! There is only one correct method for eating Weetabix in this world and I will now share this with you. Please take note so that you too can enjoy the Full Weetabix Experience and grow up strong like me!
 

1. Preparation is everything. Place two weetabixes (Weetabi?) in a shallow bowl, one beside the other. No overlapping is allowed.
2. Have to hand a carton of fridge-cold milk (I now use skimmed milk but choose according to taste)
3. Make sure you have a dessert spoon and some granulated sugar close by. Only when you have done all these things should you proceed.
4. Pour milk over the Weetabix evenly, making sure that none remains dry. Pour carefully until the milk reaches about a third of the height of the weetabix. Make sure that you keep the spoon out of the bowl at this stage.
5. Timing is now crucial. Assuming that you are in the kitchen, take the milk back to the fridge and close it. This should take between 5 and 10 seconds. Any longer and the Weetabix will become soggy and inedible. Any shorter and the milk will not have had time to soak in to the Weetabic before stage 6. This is the bit that most people get wrong and the reason why NOBODY makes my Weetabix for me. Ever! Hotels and B&Bs are a nightmare for me, for this reason alone.
6. Sprinkle a level dessert spoonful of granulated sugar evenly over the Weetabix
7. Eat steadily and immediately. It is not necessary to sit down. In fact, the time taken to do so may ruin the meal. Do not engage in conversation, take a slurp of juice, change channels etc.
8. The best bit is spooning up the milk/Weetabix/sugar sludge at the bottom of the bowl
9. Soak or wash your bowl soon after eating or be prepared to use a sandblaster. Dried Weetabix has formidable adhesive qualities!

If you have followed these instructions to the letter then you will be at peace with yourself and have earned my eternal respect. Please post photos of this Travel Bug at your breakfast table, particularly if you are eating Weetabix. However, it's probably best to get someone else to take the photo. (See point 7 above)

Enjoy!