Sheriff's Posse: Georgy-Porgy

P.I.T.A.

Georgy is a vicar in a small country parish and has quite a problem with women. On one hand he is mad about them – the mere sight of a lady in high heels is enough excite him enormously. On the other hand, he can't bear to touch them or be in close proximity to them. Georgy doesn't understand the reason for this paradox, but Hanky-Panky knows  – Georgy's memories of his mother. She was apparently quite a free spirit and took pleasure in teaching her soon the "realities" of life. He quite simply adored her. One night, after a week's worth of discussions about sex, she took him to the garage to see their rabbit Josephine give birth. As they marvelled at the miracle of life, Josephine began to swallow her new children whole. Georgy screamed, and as he turned to his mother her large open mouth loomed over him and he fled shrieking into the night. She chased him across a highway and was struck by a car and killed. (Undoubtedly this incident affected Georgy deeply and resulted in his subconscious attraction/revulsions towards all women.)

Now grown, Georgy tries everything to elude the parish widowers who constantly stalk him. They are persistent though, and Georgy grows more and more desperate with each attempt to seduce him. Finally Miss Hanky-Panky gets him drunk at a tennis party and catches him in an embrace out in the garden. He is too lightheaded to resist. As he goes to kiss him, though, he sees his large open mouth and begins to scream as he swallows him whole. He continues to narrate from his new home in his digestive system, althoughHanky-Panky know that he has just simply gone mad.