Aunt Matilda and the Baboons! Traditional Cache
napoleon1801: Retiring this cache.
Aunt Matilda and the Baboons!
-
Difficulty:
-
-
Terrain:
-
Size: 
(regular)
Please note Use of geocaching.com services is subject to the terms and conditions
in our disclaimer.
How strange! After reading about Darkmoon's Aunt Matilda, I could barely believe it, I remembered that I have an Aunt Matilda too! I wonder if they're related?!?
Aunt Matilda And The Baboons
When I was a kid of 10 or 11 years old, me and my sister went to spend a couple of weeks with my Aunt Matilda who lived in an outhouse in the mountains in S.E. Oklahoma. It was always fun to run around the woods and stay with her even though she was a strange lady at times. When we got there, she was cleaning up some peanut hulls off the back porch, (she was a peanut farmer). We asked her what had happened and as she stopped to relight her corn cob pipe, she said that she had been having troubles with baboons, no matter what she tried they were way too smart for her and would get in her peanut stash. She was allergic to them, so she couldn't store them in the house and she had to keep them outside. Bricks and logs on top wouldn't phase them, screw type containers wouldn't stop them and when she got some dogs, the dogs would end up under the cabin hiding from the baboons at night, before they started eating the peanuts and throwing their poo. Maybe she thought that we could come up with an idea to help her. Yeah, these were not your regular baboons. This sounded dangerous and fun to a couple of 10 year old know it alls.
That night me and my brother dressed in all brown and hung out in the woods behind the cabin so that we could face the porch and see what these baboons were all about. We had found a couple of cinder blocks by the old McInbredfamily chicken coop a mile down the road so we used those to put on top of the garbage cans. That should slow them down we thought. Just then I saw movement out of the corner of my eyes and I turned quickly to see ten baboons come down the trail and go right to the peanut stash. They looked for a few minutes, surveying the situation when one stood up on his hind legs and made a motion with his arm/leg. Then I saw the craziest sight, 4 baboons came tumbling in just like those acrobats from the Russian circus followed by 10 more of them. The tumbling ones ended up building a pyramid of baboon bodies for the others to use as a spring board to get on top, each one jumping and landing all in our peanut stash. They quickly pooled their strength together and moved the cinder blocks free, then proceeded to get between the wall and the cans with their bodies and tip it over. They grabbed all the nutty goodies they could and in a precision military manuever, they were back in the woods.
The next day I formed a plan with my brother after telling my Aunt what we saw. She thought we must have been in the cannabis she grows for special medicinal purposes. The plan was that I would sit out by the peanut stash after I disguise myself as a giant peanut to entice any baboon or pack of baboons and then lead them away for my sister to trap in a big fishing net we found out old man Keisterburn's boat dock. So the plan was set and later that night I stripped down to my tighty whiteys and started to coat my body in glue and old peanut hulls my Aunt would store in these old garbage sacks for fertillizer. Man was I glistening in the moonlight and smelling like a 100 lb slab of peanut brittle. There was no way this wasn't going to work. So I got out and sat down comfortably listening to the flys buzz around me while I spied my brother waiting off the trail that I would lead these furry forest bandits down for him to trap. Well, I didn't have to wait long before I spied movement through the brush and saw several pairs of eyes staring at me. But something wasn't right, it was feeling strange, they were doing something different than the other night. All of a sudden they all came out to the clearing, 20 strong it seemed, spread out in a line and looking at me rather hungrily and I swear licking their giant baboon lips. Let me tell you, there is nothing more scary than the thought of being a baboon chewtoy. I was getting scared. That was when they charged me. OH MY GOD...you haven't seen anything until you get charged by 20 furry hungry snarling beasts looking at you like you were an entree freshly served. All I could do was let out a high pitch girly scream before I finally came to my senses when they were about 10 feet away. I quickly got up and tried to open the back door but my hand being coated with the peanut oil wasn't going to cut it, the door knob was just spinning in my hand. Finally as I felt the first breathes of the baboons hot on my heels, I got the door open and fell through right in front of my Aunt Matilda, who was getting ready to open the door when she heard my girly screams, who by her facial expression wasn't too happy with what was happening. So there I was laying at the feet of my Aunt, dressed only in my tighty whiteys covered in the stuck on oily peanut hulls with 20 furry baboons who were now clawing every part of my body.
Now the bad thing was my Aunt was trying to chase them off of me but only proceeded to get their attention off of me and on to the smells coming from the kitchen. I guess they got tired of the peanuts as they headed off to the kitchen where she was cooking some sweaty toe jam pies. Now my Aunt was really freaking out as they quickly grabbed the pies, fending off the blows from the broom she was using to rain on their little heads but those not carrying the pies off found the wasabi from the fried road kill dinner we had and was chucking them at her. She was just cussing those baboons as she was ducking the food they were throwing at her as they made there way to freedom with her prize pies. Let me say that the night was a long one after we finally cleared the baboons out of the house and me and my brother had to clean up the mess. Also I have to say that we acknowledge that the baboons won the war and she would just have to give away her peanut stash to keep them out of the garbage cans. You know to this very day she probably would still blame me for those pies. All I can say is what an adventure!
You are looking for Aunt Matilda's patented canned peanut stash in a black cammo'ed jar.
Additional Hints
(No hints available.)