One hundred thousand years ago, a caveman was out hunting on the
frozen wastes when he slipped and fell into a crevasse. In 1988, he
was discovered by some scientists and thawed out. He then went to
law school and became UNFROZEN CAVEMAN LAWYER!
Judge: Mr. Cirroc, are you ready to give your summation?
Cirroc: It's just "Cirroc", Your Honor ... and, yes, I'm
ready.
Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, I'm just a caveman. I fell on
some ice and later got thawed out by some of your scientists. Your
world frightens and confuses me! Sometimes the honking horns of
your traffic make me want to get out of my BMW, and run off into
the hills, or wherever. Sometimes when I get a message on my fax
machine, I wonder, "Did little demons get inside and type it?" I
don't know! My primitive mind can't grasp these concepts. But there
is one thing I do know: when a man like my client slips and
falls near a sidewalk in a public right-of-way, then he is entitled
to no less than two million in compensatory damages, and two
million in punitive damages.
Thank you.