As Seen on TV Traditional Cache
Mr.Charlie: Time to change the channel.
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Difficulty:
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Terrain:
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Size: 
(regular)
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in our disclaimer.
Have you fallen and can’t get up? Bored of listening to those same old greatest hits albums? Are you tired of the endless scrubbing?
You need Geocache™!
Clap twice to turn off that music, take off your Snuggie and go out for a walk. It’s better exercise than the Ab Roller, and you can bring along your Popeil Pocket Fisherman.
Go find Geocache™!
What is Geocache™? It‘s the revolutionary new product you didn’t know you needed until you learned it existed. Now you can’t live without it!
Geocache™ provides hours of wholesome entertainment and still retains its original shape! It can hold more liquid than a Sham-Wow! Do you have unsightly facial hair? Simply cover the affected area with Geocache™ and watch the hair disappear!
But that’s not all. It takes inches off your tummy while doubling your closet space!
How much would you pay for Geocache™? Don’t answer yet!
It slices. It dices. It even makes Julienne potatoes! Put some in your next load of laundry! Apply Geocache™ to your windshield and be amazed with the results. It cleans without leaving a streak!
Now how much would you pay? But wait, there’s more!
You can grow your very own herb garden in Geocache™. It stores your valuables safely away from burglars. Completely child and pet friendly, Geocache™ is hypoallergenic and won’t irritate your skin! It’s made from space-age polymers and is completely indestructible! One size fits all!
It will impress your friends and astound your neighbors! It’s Geocache™!
Act within the next five minutes and receive parking coordinates absolutely free!
Don’t be fooled by imitation containers in the woods! Get your Geocache™ today, while supplies last! Operators are standing by.
Batteries not included. Some restrictions may apply. Void where prohibited.
Additional Hints
(Decrypt)
Ybbx haqre gung ybt gung'f bayl 19.95 srrg ybat!