For centuries the conflict between the empires of Lilliput and
Blefuscu has raged. Since this conflict has been documented as far
back as 1726 by Lemuel Gulliver, I won't delve into the details
here. But I do want to bring your attention to a recent series of
events that was initially an attempt to bring closure to the
conflict, but which in fact fanned the flames. Sometime in the
mid-2000's a pair of communications were transmitted:
To: Exalted Emperor Zander of the Empire of Blefuscu
From: Emperor Otellini of the Empire of Lilliput
Subject: On Holy Wars and a Plea for Peace
My Dear Emperor Zander,
Congratulations on your elimination of your predecessor, Emperor
Galvin, and your assumption of the leadership of the Empire of
Blefuscu. As you know, a Holy War has existed between our
respective Empires for centuries. On numerous occasions over that
time the leadership of Lilliput has attempted to resolve the
conflict, but your predecessors have insisted on continuing the
hostilities. I am hopeful that with new blood in power, that you
will listen to my plea.
I have left a "cache of peace" just outside the walls to our
empire. This container has been specially constructed such that
representatives from both of our empires are able to open it
without sacrificing their core beliefs. I pray that you will send
an ambassador to visit this cache, open it, and sign the document
that it contains. In order to allow your ambassador to locate this
cache, and yet to prevent the location from being compromised if
this communication is intercepted, I have sent an electronic device
via courier which contains the information required to locate the
cache. This device contains 64 bits of information, 32 bits of
Easting and then 32 bits of Northing, which will allow you to find
the cache within the 10S grid using the Universal Transverse
Mercator coordinate system. My Empire looks forward to joining
yours in resolving these centuries of conflict.
/s/ Emperor Otellini
Empire of Lilliput
|
|
To: Emperor Otellini of the Empire of Lilliput
From: Emperor Zander of the Empire of Blefuscu
Regarding: On Holy Wars and a Plea for Peace
My Dear Emperor Otellini,
I may have only recently assumed leadership of the Great Empire of
Blefuscu, but I wasn't born yesterday! For all of my life I have
observed the interactions between our respective empires, and time
and time again I have observed the treacherous actions of your
empire's leadership, and your latest communication is just further
proof of the fact that you and your people cannot be trusted.
You sent an electronic device via courier, which we have received
and processed per your instructions. But do you take us as fools?
Both an Easting value of 2,785,347,840 and a Northing value of
3,945,021,184 are far too large to be valid offsets in the UTM
coordinate system! You say you want peace, but then you propagate
some charade? The only way there will be peace is when we conquer
you and your people and place you all in bondage where you belong!
Prepare yourself for an escalation of hostilities!
/s/ Emperor Zander
Empire of Blefuscu
|
|
Hmmm, I wonder what led to the misunderstanding?