Off The Market Traditional Cache
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(regular)
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*** WARNING*** BEWARE OF LARGE WATER MOCCASIN AT GROUND ZERO! DO NOT REACH IN WITHOUT MAKING SURE IT IS SAFE!***
You seek a 50 cal ammo can, along Rock Springs Run, placed in honor of wedded bliss, JailBird style. If you survive the grueling trek to ground zero, your hunt will be incredibly brief, hence the 1/5 D/T rating, per Clayjar
After many years of living in sin, Peggy has made an honest man out of Mark, by roping him into marriage. Whoo Hoo!! Yup, it's true. Sorry ladies, but he's "Off The Market". (Uh... guys? Yeah, that means she's "Off The Market" too) Feel free to join us in the celebration of the nuptials of The JailBirds by participating in one of their favorite activities, paddling kayaks, and tromping around critter infested areas, in search of an ammo can.
I thought this would be a good place to share the toast I offered to them at their wedding:
I wish you health; I wish you wealth
And happiness galore.
I wish you Heaven when you die,
What could I wish you more?
May your joys be as deep as the ocean;
Your troubles as light as its foam.
And may you find sweet peace of mind,
Wherever you may roam.
Should you be considering such an endeavor, please consider these quips from the "experts":
A husband is what is left of a lover, after the nerve has been extracted. - Helen Rowland
A man in love is incomplete until he has married. Then he's finished. - Zsa Zsa Gabor
A man marries to have a home, but also because he doesn't want to be bothered with sex and all that sort of thing. - W. Somerset Maugham
A man may be a fool and not know it, but not if he is married. - H. L. Mencken
All marriages are happy. It's the living together afterward that causes all the trouble. - Raymond Hull
Bachelors know more about women than married men; if they didn't they'd be married too. - H. L. Mencken
Do you know what it means to come home at night to a woman who'll give you a little love, a little affection, a little tenderness? It means you're in the wrong house, that's what it means. - Henny Youngman
I love being married. It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life. - Rita Rudner
If you want to sacrifice the admiration of many men for the criticism of one, go ahead, get married. - Katharine Hepburn
In olden times sacrifices were made at the altar - a practice which is still continued. - Helen Rowland
It's a funny thing that when a man hasn't anything on earth to worry about, he goes off and gets married. - Robert Frost
Love: A temporary insanity curable by marriage. - Ambrose Bierce
Marriage is a wonderful invention: then again, so is a bicycle repair kit. - Billy Connolly
Marriage is nature's way of keeping us from fighting with strangers. - Alan King
Men have a much better time of it than women. For one thing, they marry later; for another thing, they die earlier. - H. L. Mencken
Men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage - they've experienced pain and bought jewelry. - Rita Rudner
My advice to you is get married: if you find a good wife you'll be happy; if not, you'll become a philosopher. - Socrates
Politics doesn't make strange bedfellows - marriage does. - Groucho Marx
Why does a woman work ten years to change a man's habits and then complain that he's not the man she married? - Barbra Streisand
Good luck!
Additional Hints
(Decrypt)
Qhqr! Vg'f va gur serrxva' ubyyj gerr! Vtaber gur byq pnzb gncr pbirerq grgure arne tebhaq yriry. Ybbx vafvqr sbe gur arj grgure.