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Quest for the Holy Grail

A cache by Arthur, son of Uther Pendragon Send Message to Owner Message this owner
Hidden : 04/25/2011
Difficulty:
2 out of 5
Terrain:
3 out of 5

Size: Size:   other (other)

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Geocache Description:

Alberta Battlecache

The cache is not at the posted coordinates
It is a good place to park though.
Don't mind the "No Trespassing" sign. I have permission from the city to place this cache.

GOD:    Right!  Arthur, King of the Britons -- your Knights of the Round
        Table shall have a task to make them an example in these dark times.
ARTHUR: Good idea, oh Lord!
GOD:    'Course it's a good idea!  Behold!  Arthur, this is the Holy
        Grail.  Look well, Arthur, for it is your sacred task to seek
        this Grail. That is your purpose, Arthur -- the Quest for the
        Holy Grail.

Thou art bidden to join me, Arthur, son of Uther Pendragon, in the quest for the holy grail. For this quest thou needst to abandon thy steel horseless carriage at the designated coordinates. Thou shalt thence proceed to the first waypoint where thou shalt find thy first clue.

The quest for the Holy Grail will guide thee through the Bearspaw Legacy Park. This most pleasant tract of land offers enchanting views as thou makest thy way to the river. Thou shalt be able to fulfill this quest in about an hour and the walk is mostly descending from the parking coordinates. In summer time, remember to bring some towels as there is an opportunity for swimming.

Prithee make sure that thou art properly prepared for this journey. Prithee make sure thou bringst along:
  • thy GPSr
  • a notebook and a pen
  • an AA battery!
  • this cache description
  • a calculator

For each of the waypoints thou needst to discover only the decimal seconds of the coordinates. For all waypoints the degrees and minutes portion of the coordinates are the same: N 51 07.xxx W 114 18.yyy. To allow thee to check thy response, each stage will include the digital root of xxx and yyy.

The digital root of a number is calculated by repeatedly summing the digits of a number. For instance the digital root of 835 => 8+3+5 = 16 => 1 + 6 = 7.

If you have a smartphone, you can check your solution in the field.

Scene 1: Saddle up

At this point thou need to saddle up your horse and find thy way to Castle Anthrax.
A  
B    
SOLDIER #1:  Halt!  Who goes there?
ARTHUR:  It is I, Arthur, son of Uther Pendragon, from the castle of Camelot.
    King of the Britons, defeator of the Saxons, sovereign of all England!
SOLDIER #1:  Pull the other one!
ARTHUR:  I am,... and this is my trusty servant Patsy.  We have ridden the 
    length and breadth of the land in search of knights who will join me in my 
    court at Camelot.  I must speak with your lord and master.
...
GUARD #1:  Where'd you get the coconut?
ARTHUR:  We found them.
GUARD #1:  Found them?  In Mercea?  The coconut's tropical!
ARTHUR:  What do you mean?
GUARD #1:  Well, this is a temperate zone.
ARTHUR:  The swallow may fly south with the sun or the house martin
    or the plumber may seek warmer climes in winter yet these are not
    strangers to our land.
GUARD #1:  Are you suggesting coconuts migrate?
ARTHUR:  Not at all, they could be carried.
GUARD #1:  What -- a swallow carrying a coconut?
ARTHUR:  It could grip it by the husk!
GUARD #1:  It's not a question of where he grips it!  It's a simple
    question of weight ratios!  A five ounce bird could not carry a 1 pound
    coconut.
ARTHUR:  Well, it doesn't matter.  Will you go and tell your master
    that Arthur from the Court of Camelot is here.
GUARD #1:  Listen, in order to maintain air-speed velocity, a swallow
    needs to beat its wings 43 times every second, right?
ARTHUR:  Please!
GUARD #1:  Am I right?
ARTHUR:  I'm not interested!
GUARD #2:  It could be carried by an African swallow!
GUARD #1:  Oh, yeah, an African swallow maybe, but not a European
    swallow, that's my point.
GUARD #2:  Oh, yeah, I agree with that...

Scene 2: Castle Anthrax

Sir Galahad was lead to castle Anthrax by the grail shaped light. Naughty Zoot had apparently left that on. Fortunately Sir Lancelot was there to 'save' him. Now it is time for thee to get illuminated and find thy next clue and project a course to the next waypoint.
C    
D    
ZOOT:  Welcome gentle Sir knight, welcome to the Castle Anthrax.
GALAHAD:  The Castle Anthrax?
ZOOT:  Yes... oh, it's not a very good name?  Oh! but we are
    nice and we shall attend to your every, every need!
GALAHAD:  You are the keepers of the Holy Grail?
ZOOT:  The what?
GALAHAD:  The Grail -- it is here?
ZOOT:  Oh, but you are tired, and you must rest awhile.
...
ZOOT:  What is your name, handsome knight?
GALAHAD:  Sir Galahad... the Chaste.
ZOOT:  Mine is Zoot... just Zoot.  Oh, but come!
GALAHAD:  Look, please!  In God's name, show me the Grail!
ZOOT:  Oh, you have suffered much!  You are delirious!
GALAHAD:  L-look, I have seen it!  It is here, in the--
ZOOT:  Sir Galahad!  You would not be so ungallant as to refuse our
      hospitality.
GALAHAD:  Well, I-I-uh--
ZOOT:  Oh, I am afraid our life must seem very dull and quiet compared
      to yours.  We are but eight score young blondes and brunettes, all between
      sixteen and nineteen and a half, cut off in this castle with no one to
      protect us!  Oh, it is a lonely life -- bathing, dressing, undressing,
      making exciting underwear....  We are just not used to handsome knights.
      Nay, nay, come, come, you may lie here.  Oh, but you are wounded!
GALAHAD:  No, no -- i-it's nothing!
...
GALAHAD:  Zoot!
DINGO:  No, I am Zoot's identical twin sister, Dingo.
GALAHAD:  Oh, well, excuse me, I--
DINGO:  Where are you going?
GALAHAD:  I seek the Grail!  I have seen it, here in this castle!
DINGO:  No!  Oh, no!  Bad, bad Zoot!
GALAHAD:  What is it?
DINGO:  Oh, wicked, bad, naughty Zoot!  She has been setting alight
    to our beacon, which, I just remembered, is grail-shaped.  It's not the
    first time we've had this problem.

Scene 3: Fetchez la vache

Oh no! Those silly French are taunting thee! They don't acknowledge thine authority and now they're throwing live stock at you. We'll show them! Charge!
E    
ARTHUR:  If you will not show us the Grail, we shall take your castle
      by force!
GUARD:  You don't frighten us, English pig-dogs!  Go and boil your
    bottoms, sons of a silly person.  I blow my nose at you, so-called
    Arthur-king, you and all your silly English kaniggets.  Thppppt!
GALAHAD:  What a strange person.
ARTHUR:  Now look here, my good man!
GUARD:  I don't want to talk to you no more, you empty headed animal
    food trough whopper!  I fart in your general direction!  You mother
    was a hamster and your father smelt of eldeberries.
GALAHAD:  Is there someone else up there we could talk to?
GUARD:  No, now go away or I shall taunt you a second time-a!
ARTHUR:  Now, this is your last chance.  I've been more than reasonable.
GUARD:  (Fetchez la vache.)
    wha?
GUARD:  (Fetchez la vache!)
    [moo]
ARTHUR:  If you do not agree to my commands, then I shall--
    [twong]
    [mooooooo]
    Jesus Christ!
    Right!  Charge!
ALL: Charge!

Scene 4: Bridge of Death

Thou art nigh. The only obstacle betwixt thee and the grail is the Bridge of Death. Answer the three questions of the bridge keeper correctly otherwise thee might vanish in the Gorge of Eternal Peril!
F    
ARTHUR:  There it is!  The Bridge of Death!
ROBIN:  Oh, great.
KNIGHT:  Look!
ARTHUR:  There's the old man from Scene 24!
BEDEMIR:  What is he doing here?
ARTHUR:  He is the keeper of the Bridge of Death.  He asks each
    traveller five questions--
KNIGHT:  Three questions.
ARTHUR:  Three questions.  He who answers the five questions--
KNIGHT:  Three questions.
ARTHUR:  Three questions may cross in safety.
ROBIN:  What if you get a question wrong?
ARTHUR:  Then you are cast into the Gorge of Eternal Peril.
...
KEEPER:  Stop!  Who would cross the Bridge of Death must answer me
      these questions three, 'ere the other side he see.
LAUNCELOT:  Ask me the questions, bridge-keeper.  I'm not afraid.
KEEPER:  What is your name?
LAUNCELOT:  My name is Sir Launcelot of Camelot.
KEEPER:  What is your quest?
LAUNCELOT:  To seek the Holy Grail.
KEEPER:  What is your favorite color?
LAUNCELOT:  Blue.
KEEPER:  Right.  Off you go.
LAUNCELOT:  Oh, thank you.  Thank you very much.
ROBIN:  That's easy!

Scene 5: The Holy Grail

Audacious Sir Knight, thou hast victoriously accomplished this quest and have learned the location of the Holy Grail. Thou art seeking a golden grail lavishly decorated with precious jewels. There is a unique FTF prize that alas, did not fit inside the grail. Therefor I've left a special FTF card. Present me the card during the wrap up event and I'll bequeath thee thy prize!

Additional Hints (Decrypt)

Qvq V zragvba gubh arrqfg na NN onggrel naq guvf pnpur qrfpevcgvba?
[Stage 1:] Abg hcevtug
[Stage 3:] Onfr bs fynagrq qrnq gerr (QE A=8, J=1)
[Stage 4:] Zntargvp (QE A=8,J=6) frr shegure abgrf jvgu jnlcbvag.
[Final:] Nirel (QE A=8,J=1)
Fgneg pnyphyngvbaf sebz gur tvira pbbeqvangrf bs JC1 naq hcqngr gubfr ng rnpu fgntr.
JJJ - AAA = 110
Erzrzore gur beqre bs pnyphyngvbaf (ORQZNF)!

Decryption Key

A|B|C|D|E|F|G|H|I|J|K|L|M
-------------------------
N|O|P|Q|R|S|T|U|V|W|X|Y|Z

(letter above equals below, and vice versa)