Interview With The Cachefather Event Cache

This will be a very enjoyable event. It will involve some fun activities, some good food and drink, great fellowship, and over $500 of available prizes.

The Cachefather has requested you to be at this event. You don’t want to disappoint your Cachefather. You should post a will attend note now and then come to the event.

Everyone has seen it in the forums and the newspapers. Tupperware vandalized. Altoid tins crushed. Ammo cans muggled. Event sites defaced. And now, the scourge of nanos being sold right out in the open to out children. NANOS TO OUR CHILDREN!

Enough is enough. Up to now these shots across the bow could be ignored. These vile actions were chalked up to the cost of doing business. Until now. Until they made it personal.

There have been years of peace. But, no more. It’s time to fight back. War is coming and The Cachefather needs to beef up on soldiers.

You and your crew are sharp. No one can deny this. Your reputation precedes you. You are known on the streets and on the trails. But now you have an opportunity to join The Crew. You have an opportunity to be part of the family of families. You have an opportunity to work with The Cachefather.

But, reputation or no, The Cachefather needs to see you in action. He needs to know that you really know the streets. He needs to know you are the best. The Cachefather is asking for you to show your stuff.

You need to show up at the given coordinates by 9 AM on 10/16/2011. There, you will be given some “assignments” to complete so The Cachefather can see how you handle yourself and how well you know the streets. Don’t worry about the assignments. You got it covered. While you will be doing some “shooting”, you won’t need to whack nobody or nothing. Not yet, anyways.

Now, once you complete these assignments, you’ll come back and enjoy the hospitality of the Southside Mafia Crew as they lay out a spread of authentic mafia style pizza. And hey, the Southside Mafia Crew doesn’t mess around. So you can be sure that if you aren’t full, they’ll keep making more until you’re splitting at the seams.

You can participate individually or with a small crew. The Cachefather prefers crews of two. That said, The Cachefather is a busy guy and probably won’t notice if some crews are a bit larger. No more than four on a crew, though. As a crew of one or two, you will be more agile. Decisions will be made with greater speed. As a larger crew you will have more experience to draw from, but assignments will likely take longer to complete. Note that our most veteran crew recommends experience over agility and suggests that the larger the crew, the better your chances of completing the most “assignments”.

There will be plenty of prizes given out as rewards for assignment completion. You do well, and well, you deserve a little taste, no? Not only that, but there will also be plenty of prizes given out as tokens of respect for event participation. At the date of event publication there were over $200 of prizes and tokens of respect available based on participation.

GEAR TO PACK

To complete your assignments, you’ll obviously need to be packing. For this event be sure to bring the following gear with you.

You will need a gps, a writing utensil, and plenty of batteries.

You will need a digital camera with plug-and-play capabilities. You need something to “shoot” with to verify you have completed your assignments. Now normally, we aren’t very kind to photographers. But, due to the circumstances, we are making an exception.

Now, you do not need, but you may want some way to access the internet. Maybe a smart phone or a net book with an air card. It’s not nessecary, but feel free to bring one. Don’t let The Cachefather see you with it, of course. But, if at some point a map on your phone or a piece of information pulled from the internet could help, what he doesn’t see won’t hurt him, right? It’s like Tommy Two Ticks used to say, “As long as the whack gets done, what does it matter whether I used a baseball bat or a broom stick?” And, assuming you didn’t have theatre tickets or somewhere else important to be, he had a point. Of course if you were on a schedule, his broom stick technique would always make you late. Just saying.

Finally, you will need $10 cash per person to pay tribute at registration. Hey, you know the old saying, the dough may be free, but the olive oil in the dough don’t grow on no tree. Now that said, The Cachefather assures you that you will get enough fellowship, pizza, salad, cookies, drink, and prizes to more than make up for the minimal tribute.

Q & A

What type of camera can I use?

The camera should be plug and play to work with any standard windows computer. The pictures should be taken in a standard format readable by any standard windows computer. This in necessary for the speed and efficiency of the assignment verifiers.

Note for Nikon users: Those of you who take pictures utilizing Nikon cameras, please do not submit your pictures in NEF format. Either set your camera to another mode or utilize another camera. If either of these options are unavailable to you, please contact the Event Organizer in advance of the event to work out another agreeable alternative.

What if I don’t think the pizza is authentic enough?

If you have an opinion to share with the Southside Crew, feel free. Just know, the Southside Crew takes critique of their authenticate Itallian Pizza very seriously. They may decide to help you understand just how authentic it is by giving your face a tour of the insides of their authentic ovens. Just saying.

I don’t do pizza. Is there an alternative?

Yes. The Cachefather has arranged for you to have access to a superior salad bar with 42 different options.

Only four on a crew? But I’ve got little ones tagging along and that pushes me over four?

The Cachefather believes “Family First”. In such a situation, The Cachefather is happy to accommodate. Be sure to register the little ones, though, as they will also be entered into the drawing for other prizes.

What about the Chiefs? If the event isn’t over by noon, I’ll miss the Chiefs game!

Worry not, the Chiefs are on the bye. They don’t play today. There’s even a rumor going around that a member of the Chiefs may actually be in attendance at the lunch part of the event.

Will I get to meet The Cachefather?

Whether The Cachefather will actually be onsite or make an appearance, only The Cachefather knows. As with most of us who have come on the crew, our “interviews with The Cachefather” were usually interviews conducted by other members of The Cachefather’s crew. Fact is, we all know The Cachefather keeps a very low profile. Maybe today he will reveal himself. Maybe not.

What if I don’t want to leave at 1:00?

You may feel free to enjoy the hospitality of The Cachefather and the Southside Mafia Crew for as long as you like.

Will there be prizes?

Surely you know the reputation of The Cachefather as a generous individual. This is no rumor. There will be prizes awarded not only for the best performing individual/team, but also multiple door prizes. The final prize pool will consist of many coins, caches, swag and other items from the famous Cachefather Vault and also from tributes, I mean donations, offered by various cachers. The final prize pool will top over $500 in value.

Is this some kind of rip-off of the amazing race?

No. This is not an amazing race style event.

This cache page may be updated from time to time up through the event. Monitoring the page would be advisable. As everyone knows, The Cachefather sometimes likes to embed puzzles into cache pages. Being aware of and solving such a puzzle, if one were to exist, would seem to be a good thing.
This is not the puzzle - nice try, though!