[[Blue lights flash...the siren whoops a few times..and you pull over into a convenient parking lot]]
Good morning. Geocaching name and logbook please meow. Thank you.
I pulled you over because I noticed you logged DNF's on the two other caches in this park. Really!? Both of them!? Those caches are well placed by one of the area's favorite cache owners and are really fun, straight-forward hides.
I am going to have to ask you to exit the vehicle. Now I want you to answer some questions for me. Can you do that? OK. I see ten empty Monster energy drink cans on the passenger side floor of your vehicle and two empty packages of Fig Newtons. There are enough electronic devices plugged in to your dash and attached to your windshield to make it nearly impossible for you to see outside. How many other people are traveling with you? Where are your friends? Did they hide in the woods when they saw me pull in?
...
Uh Huh. No friends. Not surprising.
…
So all this is yours and you are at the end of a 500 non-stop cache blitz? Is that healthy?
....
I'll have to determine if it is safe to let you continue caching. The law is very clear on this. I need you to step over here with me. Very good.
Now, maybe your batteries got weak, maybe it is sunspots or clouds, or maybe you are just fried, but I am going to give you a chance to redeem yourself. I am going to have you walk over there and find a cache. If you successfully get there and back and sign the log I will let you go with a warning...this time.
I have to remind you and warn you first that there is only one good way to walk to this cache. If you stray from the path you will probably find yourself knee deep in slop, briars, and may be attacked by the rabid raccoon that prowls these woods. Of course the fall itself might injure you enough so that the nasty looking water and crawdads won't matter.
I will give you an option of avoiding the standard “walk the line” test I’ve proposed due to its risk (you have been warned and I am not responsible if you choose to do it either way).
You could take the indirect route to the cache but if you make it there and back you will look like you escaped from the middle of the nastiest Louisiana bayou swamp imaginable… that’s if Mr. Coon does not get you. Then again, you probably could not reach the container from that point anyway.
Good luck. I’ll be waiting right here.
Should I put the paramedics on standby?
Disclaimer from Sarge- This cache is very simple and it can be a lot of fun but you have to use common sense and good judgment. Stop and look at the challenge before you start the sobriety test. You can see exactly what you are in for before your feet leave the parking lot. I’ve been to the cache and back a handful of times without difficulty but that is just me. If you do not have good balance, don’t do this cache. If the weather is bad, do not do this cache. If you are afraid of heights, do not do this cache. If you think you might slip or fall off, do not do this cache. If you are not willing to risk the consequences of plopping into the swamp, do not do this cache. The landing area looks soft but you could be injured in the fall. I can assure you that neither I nor my fellow rescue professionals will enjoy ruining our uniforms and our boots while we attempt to get to you and then get you out. (Then again getting someone out of that area sounds like fun for me but I like rescuing people in challenging and unusual circumstances) Use your judgment as far as allowing a child to do it. I can’t think of much else to warn you about except to say that there are probably a million things some lawyer somewhere would insist on putting here. OH! I just thought of one they would like. If you are not sober or are otherwise impaired, do not do this cache! It is not a real sobriety test. That should be it.
Please be careful and have fun. I think you will enjoy this one if you choose to do it.
Oh, and please don't drop the cache container :-)
Another cache brought to you by a member of the
