An Antipodean Menagerie Traditional Cache
kalanae: We are going to find a whole new spot to resurrect this cache because it looks like they came through and cleaned out this whole area (yay for park goers....boo for cache hiders!). Will re-use the name if we can... and will email unimogger personally when it's up again! ;)
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Size: 
(regular)
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Once upon a time, there was a lonely kiwi who had the unwanted, yet constant company of a penguin and two koalas. What he considered even worse than the koala companionship was that he was often forced to perform silly poses like cheerleader lifts with the koalas. (1) Sometimes he even had to give them rides. He felt like a performing seal...or a performing kiwi, shall we say. He just wanted to be alone, and unburdened of marsupials.
Day by day he grew to realize that there would be no exit from this hell, so he tried to befriend his flightless feathered comrade. The penguin did not share the kiwi’s interest in hobbits, but instead suggested geocaching, an activity adored by flightless birds everywhere. (2) The kiwi’s heart lifted as he cried with glee, "Yes! A thousand times yes!". Surprised by the kiwi’s enthusiasm, the koalas pleaded to go along. The penguin agreed, as caching is fun for everyone. The penguin then laughed and clapped his wings twice to summon his majestic stingray, Giddyup Sprinkles. (3) Together, they all flew away and cached happily ever after. (4)
The moral of the story: Caching is fun for everyone, even with koalas! (5)
(1) As a general rule, and evident to any animal scholar, kiwis do not like koalas. They smell like eucalyptus and tell jokes that are not very funny.
(2) Except ostriches, as they are not stealthy no matter how hard they try.
(3) Stingrays are awesome and way cooler than unicorns, any day.
(4) This story is more parts true than false. Really.
(5) Take one with you! But it would be cool to leave a kiwi or koala or New Zealand or Australia swag. Or anything with stingrays or penguins, as they are clearly the best of all.
**Slightly increased the difficulty due to near constant muggle presence... Sporty muggles, resident muggles, working muggles and killing time muggles abound! USE STEALTH please!!!*****
Additional Hints
(Decrypt)
Orgjrra gur srapr cbfg naq gur jnyy.