LONGVIEW PURSE SNATCHER Traditional Cache

STOP, THIEF!

During a hike thru Longview, I heard a cry, "STOP, THIEF!  HE HAS MY PURSE!"

Looking up, I saw a rough-looking man, purse in hand, running down the trail. A young lady was running after him, but the crook was getting away.

Well, I couldn't let this happen, so I gave chase to the villain. He was very nimble, and it wasn't easy, and he wasn't giving up that purse. He went up and down trails, bushwacked down hills, diverted down cattle trails--but I managed to keep up. He would sometimes take change out of the purse and hurl quarters at my head, but I always ducked in time.

To my surprise, the thief jumped into the nearby river, and dived under.  Turns out, he was an expert frogman, just like Mike Nelson. Fortunately, I always carry scuba-diving gear, and a small US Divers air tank, just for these occasions. So, I quickly donned my diver's gear and dove in after him. The seaweed was pretty thick, but my diver's mask allowed me to see him anyway. The two of us swam downriver about a mile, then the fiend finally jumped out. I could tell he was really mad now, but I wasn't giving up.

Finally, in desperation, the ne'r-do-well wiggled into a drainage pipe. He had me here, since I couldn't fit inside.  He looked back at me and yelled, "See ya later, chump!"

That last crack really made me mad. Indeed, it looked like he was going to get away, but I had a secret weapon.  I took one of my nifty trekking poles, aimed at the thief, and let it fly--like a javelin. (I had done this once before on a thief on the "Toll Road" trail.)

Too late, I realized that I forgot to adjust for wind-speed and curvature of the earth (Fizzy is always reminding me about that correction.) So the pole's trajectory was a little low, but it struck him in the ankle.

"Ooof!"  Got him! Surprised, the thief flung the purse high-overhead. He scowled at me, and threatened, "I'm gonna get you, Bassocantor."  He limped away, but at least we had the purse--or so I thought.

We searched for hours, but couldn't find the purse.  The young lady said that the finder can keep the contents. She also admitted she had a geocaching log inside, in case this happened.

I didn't see exactly where the purse landed, but I bet it's still there.