Dear Knights Who Say Ni,
I am very disappointed with recent service; Mr Frampton's approach with me was very unsatisfactory, and his mentions about how many bottoms he has is truly uncivilized. I did not care of his dreams to be a lumberjack climbing a certain number of trees. He kept rambling on about how many people expect the Spanish Inquisition. The final straw was when he talked about all the fresh fruits he could defend himself against.
I did not pay for ten minutes of arguing, and would like a full refund. He just went on and on about how many cats he could confuse. Then he was demanding I go fetch a number of shrubbery. Then he started to brag about how many albatrosses he had sold the previous day. He was insistent and kept repeating 'say no more' a number of times. He would not stop asking me about pooftas and how many original Bruce's I knew. I'm just glad Mr. Jackson intervened, but even he seemed transfixed on the number of sheds he owned.
I have no plans to spend anymore time in your neck of the woods. Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries."
Sincerely,
Mr. Eric Praline