It's 2014 and it's the Commonwealth Games in Glasgow.
A Scotsman (robertburns), an American (peigimccann) and an Irishman want to get in, but they haven't got tickets.
The Scotsman picks up a manhole cover, tucks it under his arm and walks to the gate.
"robertburns, Scotland," he says, "Discus" and in he walks.
The American picks up a length of scaffolding and slings it over her shoulder.
"peigimccann, America, " she says, "Pole vault" and in she walks.
The Irishman looks around and picks up a roll of barbed wire and tucks it under his arm.
"O'Malley, Ireland " he says, "Fencing."
