The coordinates listed above will take you to where I saw my first pitch as a first-year Little League player. This is also where I first saw Ty Abram, a beast of an eight-year-old who could club the ball like few others ever could at that age. More about him later... I grew up really close to this field, so I took a lot of batting practice with buddies and with my Dad at this very spot. The day before I got married in 1987, my wife and I, and the entire wedding party hit some baseballs here. I can still picture my beautiful bride running after a fly ball in her white sundress and no shoes.
As you stand at home plate, look to the West and notice the tether-ball poles near the school. My friend Doug Montgomery told me that his older brother Mike could hit a baseball all the way to those poles because he had learned to pop his hips as he swung. I worked really hard on popping my hips, and the best I could do throughout my baseball career was the occasional loud out on the warning track. As I said, I have never been a power hitter.
To find the next stage, find the address of the house directly South of home plate. Let the four-digit number be "ABCD." The coordinates of the next stage are:
40 DA.AA(B*B)
-105 (B-A)(C+1).(B*A)(A+C)D
Stage 2 is where I played "Little League Majors" as a 10, 11, and 12-year-old, sometimes against Ty Abram. When we were both 12, I hit zero homers while Ty hit something like 20 home runs in 21 games. Ty's feat was said to be a North Boulder Little League record, surpassing the great Bobby Anderson who went on to play semi-pro baseball for the Boulder Baseline Collegians while also playing Football for the CU Buffs as a Quarterback and a Running Back. Bobby also played for the Broncos for a while. More on him later...
When we were both 12, Ty and I played a scrimmage game against each other here. I was playing left field with my back against the fence when Ty hit a shot over my head. I jumped up and caught it, robbing him of a homerun, but also robbing myself of a chance to play for the next several days because I scraped the bejeezus out of my back on the top of the fence on my way down.
While standing at home plate, you'll notice that the homerun fence is perfectly even, at a distance of "EFG" feet to left, center, and right. Stage three is at:
40 (E-1)(F-G-1).F(F/2)(G-1)
-105 1(E+4).(E+2)(F-5)(G-4)
Stage 3 is where I played baseball in High School. Ty Abram was pitching here once when somebody drilled a line-shot off his head that bounced into the dugout, and Ty lived to tell the tale. Yikes! The legend of Bobby Anderson includes a tale of him hitting a ball over the right field fence, over the swimming pool fence, and into the swimming pool. By my calculations, that's a 529 foot shot. I didn't hit any balls out of this place, but I did lay down a pinch-hit suicide squeeze bunt against our cross-town rivals here one time. Then I went back to the bench and watched the rest of the game from there.
Look down the right field line and read the distance posted there. Let that number be "HJK." the next stage is at:
40 K(H-2).(H+J)(J-1)(H*J*J-3)
-105 1(H+J).HJ(H*J)
Ok, when you're at Stage 4, you're standing where I was standing when something of monumental significance happened in my personal athletic history on a warm summer evening in 1990. I played more than 200 baseball games in my life and well over 1000 softball games, and this is the only place where I ever launched one over the fence. Somebody should have erected a monument just beyond the fence, just to the right of dead-center field where that ball landed, but alas, no monument exists, and nobody remembers that moment but me. I don't think that Ty Abram or Bobby Anderson ever played here because the field is too small for those guys. For me, on that evening in 1990, this field was just right.
This is another equal opportunity field, with equal distance to left, center, and right. Let that distance be "LMN." The field also has a single digit number on a sign on the backstop. Let that number be "P." The cache log is located at:
40 N(P-L).(P*L)P(M-3)
-105 (N+1)M.(M+1)N(2*P)
This final location has nothing to do with homeruns. It's just a nice place to sit and reminisce. Bring your own pen.
Thanks for indulging me.