Anyway, with only minor beak marks on my forehead, I soon had the feathery culprit in hand, but not before I realized he had swallowed a Poe-themed cache I had left on my drawing table and meant to hide this October. He thought it was a Gold Bug perhaps?
(Unfortunately, the bird Heimlich maneuver failed to produce any noticeable results.)
"Very well" I told him, "you can be part of the cache."
Despite his loud protests, I wrapped him in a pillow case and marched him out to the forest. I took some tools to make sure he cannot leave the area, so the coords I posted should be correct. There he sits still, with the cache he swallowed, most likely still inside, or possibly beneath him on the forest floor. (Searching online, I couldn't figure out if a bison tube cache would survive the digestion process. )
You might bring him something to eat--I left $1 for the FTF in a preform tube nearby that you're welcome to keep. Log is waterproof paper --a pencil works great, or fine tip sharpie, or a space pen.
To avoid muggles, the cache is located off the main trail--you will leave the trail across from a tall skinny post (picture of it in gallery) and then will walk about 300 feet along a ferny trail--no thorns, but you will need to go over or around a log or two and watch your footing.
He is probably weak from hunger by now, so don't expect to hear any rustling feathers. Though you may perhaps hear the faint sounds of the original cache - a low, dull, quick sound --much such a sound as a watch makes when enveloped in cotton: the beating of his telltale heart.
*No critters were harmed in the creation or placement of this cache--I promise! In summer you will certainly want to wear long pants, at the start of the trail there can be nettles. Congratulations sth2878 for a super-soggy FTF!!!