My Dog has been acting strange lately. I think he is a vampire!
He sleeps in the basement closet all day. I don’t know where he goes at night. He sneaks out his doggie door and doesn’t come back until sunrise. He doesn’t eat his dog food anymore, either (I don’t blame him, though. It’s that “science diet” stuff. I tried it and it was terrible!). This is strange, too! I ate some garlic bread the other night and he wouldn’t come near me for 3 days! He used to love garlic bread, even though it made him gas a lot.
And... there are other weird things going on! People around Bristol are finding dead cows, cats, mail carriers, rats, geocachers, and other creatures with all the blood completely drained from their bodies! Everyone one of them had 2 small holes in their necks that appeared to have made by a dog or other animal. I’ve been finding odd trails of blood that lead down into the basement, too. Then, I thought…could my dog be a vampire?????
I called my veterinarian, Dr. Van Helsing, to talk to him about my “dog from hell” dilemma. He told me my dog was definitely portraying all the signs of a vampire. Dr. Van Helsing said the only way I could end this, was to pound a stake through my dog’s heart when he was sleeping. Well, I had to do something (I haven’t received any mail in 2 weeks). So…I looked in my freezer to see if I had a sirloin or filet. I didn’t, so I couldn’t do that.
That day was the last time I saw my dog.
Well…the dead blood-drained animals keep piling up around Bristol, and I still don’t know where my dog is. I don’t know what happened to him. I miss him, even though he’s a vampire. Be careful if you see him. His bite... is worse than his bark.
