It was 4am and our newly acquired dog, Toby, a Shih Tzu, barked and barked. He wanted to go out! At 4am! Isn't there some kind of law against owner abuse? Probably not. So I got up, stumbled around finding my slippers and a robe in the dark because I didn't want to wake my lovely wife (a fear that was ungrounded since she had already slept through the barking of a desperate Shih Tzu). I put the leash on Toby and we ventured outside. Toby did what a dog needs to do and we went home where I gave him a treat for waking me. Wait, that doesn't make sense. But he's treat motivated so I did it anyway. "Here, Toby, thanks for waking me up at this hour before the alarm clock did."
Now I was wide awake so I turned on the coffee maker and began reading the online version of Headlines You Need To Know. So glad someone knows what I need to know.
After awhile (and about 8 Need To Know Stories that I didn't really need to know) I noticed the coffee maker wasn't gurgling happily as it usually does and the smell of fresh brewed coffee wasn't wafting through the air. Hmmm, there's a PROBLEM. Coffee maker isn't working. Not good. My lovely wife needs her morning coffee even more than I do. While I was trying to fiddle with the coffee maker to get it to work; "Work you piece of junk....work, pleeeaaase" my lovely wife came into the room and, as was her habit, grabbed her coffee mug (giant sized) and took a long sip of nothing. Uh oh. Until she's had her first cup, she's somewhat incoherent. "The coffee maker is broken, " I said. "Gaveovenrue" she mumbled. "What was that?" I asked. "Wearsexspy" she answered. I had no idea what she was saying so I tried again, in a louder voice, "There's no coffee." "Ladodor" she responded. That made no sense either. "We don't have coffee because the coffee maker is on the bum. NO COFFEE." There, that should help clarify the situation. She looked at me and snarled. "How am I supposed to get you coffee when the coffee maker is broken?" I asked. She sighed and said, "Ambivalentticker."" What?" I asked, hoping she might start making sense. She pointed to the door. "What, I'm supposed to go get a new one, in my robe, at 5am? Where would I even find one?" "Cageherlogos," she answered and fell back asleep at the table. I needed more information. I tried again. "Where should I get a new coffee maker?" She opened one eye and mumbled, "Cardigandryspit." "Seriously?" I asked. "Heartiesventgyp," she snored. I dressed, grabbed my car keys and headed out to cageherlogos to find cardigandryspit and heartiesventgyp. It is a good thing I understand my wife in that condition. I bought a new coffee maker, came home, filled it with water and coffee and it worked perfectly. I gave my incoherent but lovely wife a mug of coffee. "Radialrug," she said. She gulped it down, opened her eyes and said, "Good morning. What a great day." She was back and I was frazzled and tired. But she was now coherent and that made all the difference to me. At least I don't have to take her for a morning walk.
N43 01.ABC
W85 39.DEF
A = F.L.R. 1351.67
B = F.L.R. 1281.84
C = Mrs. R.B. 1st digit
D = Grand Rapids Railway 14.__0
E = Under Sumner Wells
F = C.N.R. 1257.73
