The Great White North
Good day, and welcome to the Great White North (aka the Canadian Corner).
Cooo, loo, coo, coo, coo, coo, coo, coooo. Cooo, loo, coo, coo, coo, coo, coo, coooo.
Today's topic is, like, The Great White North, eh?
Think you know Canada? If you're a tourist I'm sure you can find and solve any old politically correct online quiz to prove your Canuckability. But if you fancy yourself a true down-homer then put your mettle on the line with a quiz you're not likely to find any place else.
How many minutes are there in a Canadian hour?
What will you find at the bottom of Possum Lake? - Hint: it's not an earthcache.
Who are Casey and Finnegan?
What does eh? mean, eh?
How do you stay warm when you are ice fishing?
If one is a loon, and two is a toon, what is twenty-five?
According to Greg Godovich what should Carole Pope do?
Who is The Entertainer?
Who heard the mermaids singing?
What is the double blue?
Bob unanimously concurs that what song ranks up there with Stair-way to Heaven?
Where does the king of Kensington live?
What does Cooo, loo, coo, coo, coo, coo, coo, coooo mean?
To what does Guy Caballero attribute his success?
In the song "Oh, Alberta" where is the singer from?
What does the host of the Red Green Show mean when he signs off every episode with the advice, "Keep your stick on the ice"?
In which verse does Hank Snow sing he's been to the center of the universe?
Name the killer bees.
How many seasons does Canada have?
Never to be out done, if Joey Ramone wants to be sedated, Frankie Venom wants to be what?
The number one rule of the road in Canada is what?
What does all we on I mean?
What do you do on cownap?
What color is a maple leaf?
On which television network did Charlie Farquharson appear?
In which city did Earl Camembert work?
Why is there no ice in Newfoundland?
Okay, time's up. Our topic was Canada, eh? Thanks for watching.
Join us at Lake Alexandra on July 1st to find out the answers to these and other questions you never dreamed you wanted to know. You are allowed to bribe your hosts with beer. There will be a raffle for 40 lbs of back bacon. Bring your own toque.
This event will run the obligatory half hour from...
9:02 AM to 9:03 AM
Quiz Answers
Q. How many minutes are there in a Canadian hour?
A. Twenty-two.
Q. What will you find at the bottom of Possum Lake?
A. What won't you find?
Q. Who are Casey and Finnegan?
A. A boy and his dog.
Q. What does eh? mean, eh?
A. Wrong !
A. Wrong again!
Q. How do you stay warm when you are ice fishing?
A. Light a fire.
Q. If one is a loon, and two is a toon, what is twenty-five?
A. A quarter.
Q. According to Greg Godovich what should Carole Pope do?
A. Kiss his whip (this or that).
Q. Who is The Entertainer?
A. Eddie Shack.
Q. Who heard the mermaids singing?
A. I did.
Q. What is the double blue?
A. The boatmen.
Q. Bob unanimously concurs that what song ranks up there with Stair-way to Heaven?
A. The Twelve Days of Christmas.
Q. Where does the King of Kensington live?
A. Kensington.
Q. What does Cooo, loo, coo, coo, coo, coo, coo, coooo mean?
A. Nothing, it's the opening theme song for The Great White North.
Q. To what does Guy Caballero attribute his success?
A. He was really really lucky.
Q. In the song "Oh, Alberta" where is the singer from?
A. Ontario.
Q. What does the host of the Red Green Show mean when he signs off every episode with the advice, "Keep your stick on the ice"?
A. Play fair.
Q. In which verse does Hank Snow sing he's been to the center of the universe?
A. 3rd verse, second line, second town.
Q. Name the killer bees.
A. Bell, Barfield, and Moseby.
Q. How many seasons does Canada have?
A. Two: winter, and two weeks without hockey.
Q. Never to be out done, if Joey Ramone wants to be sedated, Frankie Venom wants to be what?
A. Infected (this or that).
Q. The number one rule of the road in Canada is what?
A. Get out of the way!
Q. What does all we on I mean?
A. It's what happens in a barroom brawl (or a rugby game).
Q. What do you do on cownap?
A. Fly a kite.
Q. What color is a maple leaf?
A. Blue.
Q. On which television network did Charlie Farquharson appear?
A. Glow Ball.
Q. In which city did Earl Camembert work?
A. Melonville.
Q. Why is there no ice in Newfoundland?
A. The lady with the recipe died.
Q. I know I deliberately left out the Beachcombers but how on earth did I forget Stompin' Tom?
A. You're a hoser.