Welcome to BURP, Brantwood's Upscale Regional Park. I really do love welcoming people to things. I just realized I do not have to do this nonsense portion anymore. In that case, here is a story about 5 people that are completely made up inside my bland, unimaginative imagination. These people are not based on any real people, living, dead or imaginary.
This is a story about 5 people who randomly meet at a dog park. This story is a complete work of fiction. These 5 people end up in a conversation. Mainly, they talked about the dog they each own, and compared breeds. Then the conversation turns a bit strange and confrontational. They begin to have a competition based on which person was the coolest in high school. They verbally sparred, compared war stories of their teen years, and finally settled on ranking each other by their yearbook superlatives.
The 5 people in order of height are, Mark VonNutmeg, Clumsy Cachéé 6th, Lawrence FishTacos, Charlie HasFlees, and Squire PajamaPants.
Each imaginary person brought with them their imaginary dog. The dog breeds playing together in the park were, in no particular order, Garlic Encrusted Mastiff, Blue Heeled Hustler, No Haired Presleyterian, Brussels Gryffindor, and A Beagle named Bagel.
After the dog discussions subsided, then came the arguing about who was cooler in high school. When all was said and done, each of the 5 people were awarded 1st through 5th place based on their high school superlative. Those 5 superlatives, in some particular order are, most likely to get Catfished, most likely to become a Rap Artist, most likely to appear on COPS, most likely to compete in a Hunger Games scenario, and most likely to run off with the Carnival.
Following are some clues that were garnered during the arguments:
The future rap artist finished 1 place better in the competition than the potential COPS television star.
The owner of the No Haired Presleyterian finished 2 places worse than the Garlic Encrusted Mastiff owner.
The cat that may get Catfished did not bring a Brussels Gryffindor to the park, this particular day.
The Hunger Games candidate finished 1 place better in the voting than the person with a Beagle named Bagel.
Of CCVI and the person that finished 3rd place, one may be on COPS and the other owned a No Haired Presleyterian.
The future Catfish victim finished 2 places worse in the competition than the person who picks up the poop of a No Haired Presleyterian.
Charlie HasFlees was voted most likely to run off with a Carnival.
The person that finished in 4th place, Lawrence FishTacos, and the Blue Heeled Hustler lover are three different people.
The aspiring Rap Artist finished better in the competition than Lawrence FishTacos.
The most likely person to end up in a Hunger Games Scenario owned a No Haired Presleyterian.
Mark VonNutmeg did NOT have a Blue Heeled Hustler that slept in his bed every night.
If you had the audacity to click on a puzzle style geocache, then you know what to do next. Do that, get your dog, and head to Brantwood Park. Make sure you really want to head there. We all do geocaching the way we want. This is how I want geocaches to be, until I can’t anymore.
