Without Cream
TV's nice, real game, knows lyrics! Ha-
Two Flapdoodle cones tongued ’round the outside
’Round the outside, 'round the outside
Two Flapdoodle cones tongued ’round the outside
’Round the outside, round the outside
(Boo! Ooh-ooh-ooh)
Guess where at (at, at)
Adrenaline (ine, ine)
Shade tree hack (hack, hack)
Troll a friend (friend, friend)
Guess the cache
Guess the cache
Guess the cache
Guess the cache
Guess the cache
Guess the cache
(na‑na‑na - na na na na na na)
(na‑na‑na - na na na na)
I’ve created a malice
'Cause er'body wants to eat Snickers, in salads
They want shade trees, not fried liver
Well if you want sorbet, this what I'll give ya
A little bit of me, I'm a strong song vicar.
By the time Mayo Clinic's testing chem-i-cals
I’ll be signing the log of the tree's host vessel
When the umpire is yelling, I’m ducking the tone
By the tree near the hydrant, the cul‑de‑sac zone (Heeyy!)
Kids lining for scoops while I’m scopin' around
That big giant cone is the talk of the town
But I’m crouched near the fir where the coordinates show
Signing logs in the dark by the iPhone's glow
It feels so empty with GC
Like cookie dough dropped in the bark debris
So I stash and I dash and the game’s not done
Iowa State kid says the hunt’s no fun
'Til he sees the container, the swag inside
Gold chocolate coins that the kids can’t hide
Now the Mayo chemists are smirking slow
Their cones drip fudge on the street below
And a cacher like me don’t care at all
I’m scribbling MN on the log so small
Now this looks like a job for me
So everybody drop that 'beetus treat (Yeaaah!)
By the hydrant bark, not the cone marquee
Cul‑de‑sac log, lower A-1-C
Little kids say, “Trigger’s back!”
But I’m yelling instead, “Found the stash
Out classed, logbook’s not dead.”
This is North Rochester, the cone’s my base
But the hydrant tree’s got the real‑fine place
So controversy follows me
'Cause caching feels empty with PGC
They said ump strike three, but I don’t fall
I’m the cacher that runs when they make that call
And the Gopher State transplant adjusts his phone
GPS says “tree” and the sac’s my home (Yo!)
Can’t stop me from creeping in evergreen
Four‑fitty northeast from the ice cream scene
Now the crowd yells wild when the log is signed
'Cause the rhyme’s on time and the beat’s aligned
So come on dip, cone drip, get on this track
Cause a cacher like me’s never holding back
So we need a little caching, yes indeed
Cause it feels so empty without me
And I stash this jar in Rochester free
Stand tall by the hydrant, just watch and see
This is parody rap, a conifer plea
Like Flapdoodles cones, it’s a sweet‑ice spree
Now this looks like a job for me
So everybody just watch me hone
’Cause we need a little caching, please
Four‑fitty northeast from tall ice cream cone
He said this looks like a job for me
So everybody just watch me creep
’Cause we need a little caching, please
Four‑fitty northeast is where you'll see
Now this feels like a song TV
So everybody just hunt with me
Cul‑de‑sac jar is the thing you seek
By the hydrant tree, it's the evergreen
Yes this looks like a job for me
So everybody just watch me flee
’Cause we need a little caching spree
It feels so empty without me
Brittle waffles, kids laughing at fate
While the umpire yells, “SAFE!” at the big home plate
And the Iowa State grad, a mean Cyclone
Licking Chocness Monster while he checks his phone
North Rochester trees are the stage I choose
Giant cone on the block, scoops from flap dudes
But I stash near hydrants, I stash near gates
I stash my jars where the place is safe
If Mayo’s calling for a panel back
I’m calling cachers to the cul‑de‑sac
If kids need eminems in their sundae dish
I need signatures logged, now make that wish (Ishhh!)
So controversy follows me
'Cause caching feels empty with TV
Like cookie dough dripping in evergreens
Or rocky road without marshmallow cream
So come on dip, the cone drip, log on this beat
All the cachers in the world keep tapping their feet
The logbook’s tight, Juicy Lucys they eat
Rochester’s night hides, a tree‑sap treat
Jon's back, it’s fact, like a log insane
Scratch ink on the page while I dodge the rain
Now the Douglas fir’s loots are the place I claim
And the log I name is the game I tame
So I’m the first king of the caching scene
Hell, I've never even tasted this ice cream
To stash swag, coins, in a jar unseen
Like mint chip swirls in a triple‑scoop dream
And I crept with stealth near the evergreen core
Leaving candy‑rolled logs on the sidewalk floor
This is Rochester with the cones so nice
Big cone shining, man I love Jack Trice (Cyyy!)
It’s the controversy cachers seek
'Cause it feels so empty without me
So pen it in, while I drink my gin
Like a dipped cone waffle with Speculoos blend
Hide a cache with a grin, let the finds pretend
Then the game spins wild when the peeps descend.
So caching’s back, yell the hint
Spread word of the tree that I recommend
This green tree bark is the home of mine
So the evergreen shade hides the sweetest find
Like two scoops tumbling down to your knees
It’s so empty without me
So controversy sticks, now the log’s released
Like strawberry chunks in a sugar feast
And Rochester hunts keep the thrill complete
From the sac to the cone to the stats we beat
Now this sounds like a song TV
So everybody just watch me plead
Can the Vikings win a Super Bowl, geez!
Four‑fitty northeast from the ice cream box
They said this looks like a job for Fox
So everybody just watch me creep
’Cause we need a little cache, no fees
Four‑fitty northeast, project GZ
Now this sounds like a song TV
So everybody just read with me
Cul‑de‑sac jar is the clue you seek
By the red plug tree, inna evergreen
Yes this looks like a job for me
So everybody just lift a leaf
’Cause we need a little cache intrigue
A bit of small plastic, you go cul-de-sac it
A cacher’s little habit, to hide it and stash it
Anybody caching, you better come nab it
'Cause I’m the one that hides in the trees like magic
Now the umpire’s laughing, the crowd’s reacting
While the ISU kid makes a find, jack-whacking.
So controversy follows the sac I’m backing
Rochester’s cone, yea the natives are bragging
Butter pecan’s dripping, the cone is massive
Flapdoodles cream is the snack so classic
But the evergreen cover's legit, fantastic
Hiding jars in the dark like a trick gymnastic
So caching’s the habit, the kids all grab it
I’m shady in the sac with a signed log tablet.
It’s caching, stashing, the rhyme’s emphatic
It feels so empty without me, so drastic
Kids eat cones while the cone drip drops
Mint chip stains while I dodge mall cops
Neapolitan swirl by the hydrant’s side
You can’t stop Trigger when the logs collide
North Roch cones with the scoop too wide
But the conifer shadow’s where I confide
And if caching offends, then the hunt won’t end
'Til they sign every log in the sac I send
'Tll the ump calls strike, 'til the lab tests mount
'Til the Cy-hawk kid shakes the limb he found
This game won’t stop, it just won’t bend
'It's so empty, no Troy Davis Heisman
So the cache is back with the cap intact
Like a cone dipped twice in a chocolate act
Like cheesecake cream on a waffle stack
And this song I scratch is a caching track
Now snowtwink laughs when she takes the mic
Karaoke night on a Drekkers spike
And the Rochester cone’s still ten feet high
While a mighty trunk stands where salzsman hides
So controversy follows me
'Cause caching feels empty without trees
So dip, cone drip, sign logs yo seek
Like the good earth too, finds go to the meek
And it’s sweet cream cones with a sugar streak
But it’s parody tunes, my sweet technique
I’ve returned with stealth that you can’t out‑speak
Like a sac in the night that’s the real mystique
Rochester nights make the logs ignite
Like a Somali pirate in the moon’s low light
But it’s these green trees that define this rite
For a sci-guy like me it’s a rush outright
So controversy fills his play
'Cause it feels so empty without J
So hunt this tree and retrieve with speed
Let the sac jar shine as this song decreed
Like an ump with a call that the crowd won’t heed
In the shade with a find, hatin' Paveletzke
Twin Cities is the home where I watched Radke
But the road-side hide's what J & J need
So controversy lives with me
'Cause it feels so empty with TV
Now the sac stays warm while the cones all freeze
It’s the hydro tree where I earn my glee
I see it, Hark! There hiding near the bark
'Cause the new log hides in the evergreen park
And the rhyme won’t quit 'til the hunt’s complete
It’s the parody beat that you can’t defeat
Now this looks like a job for me
So everybody just feel the heat
Chicken wild rice, tater-tot hot dish
Four‑fitty northeast from the ice cream bish
They said this looks like a job for me
Like the roadrunner, when he goes, "Beep-beep!"
You're runnin' from skeeters, to the tree so deep
Four‑fitty northeast on a line so neat
Now this feels like a song TV
So everybody just read with me
Cul‑de‑sac jar is the feat you seek
In the Frontage road tree, it's the evergreen
Yes this looks like a job for me
So everybody just watch me creep
’Cause we need a little caching sheet
It feels so empty without me
La la la la la
la la la la - la la la la la - la la la la
La la la la la
la la la la - la la la la la - la la la la
Trig!