The Dread Pirate Roberts pt. 1- Isle of the Ants
Avast ye mateys, and lend me an ear for tales of treasure and high adventure upon the tumultuous seas of the North Texas Main. Be it known that upon the Island of the Ants, know as Culp Island by the landlubbers, within the foamy waves of Lake Ray Roberts, lays a collection of booty vast enough to tickle the fancy of any good corsair.
This document do be your Letter of Marque for pursing the legendary treasure of the Dread Pirate Roberts and his skullduggerous crew.
The novice sailor will find this to be an easy tour, for the Isle lies not far from shore. Follow your reckoning device to the landing site (N 33° 21.420', W 97° 04.652'), careen your vessel, and begin your journey to the treasure at N 33° 21.415', W 97° 04.698'. But beware the Ants of Fire, fierce little buccaneers from the jungles of South America.
They await the unwary adventurer, a seething, stinging mass too numerous upon the ground to count, and with great vengeance and furious anger will defend their home. The Dread Pirate Roberts himself fell victim himself whilst spying a wild chicken who has taken up residence upon the Isle, and would rather have the Bloody Flux then experience it again.
The treasure lies within a grand cartouche of the mighty Army of the Americas (.30 ammo can) and is hidden well. After finding the treasure, relax upon the small isle to the east, which may be reached by forging through the half-fathom of water, and admire the mighty tropical palm tree erected as a memorial to all fallen pirates.
But be mindful; the Dread Pirate Roberts is as miserly as he is ruthless, and returns often to admire and asses the value of his treasure. You must replace whatever you pillage with an item of equal value, or you shall have slept your last peaceful night.
For the mighty pirate's vengeance will take thee, and ye shall be keelhauled and hung in the gibbet cage as a lesson to all other who would cheat the scourge of the Seven Seas!