Pirates of the Guadalupe Traditional Cache
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Difficulty:
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Terrain:
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Size: 
(small)
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not too far off the road but shoes are recommended
Pirates of the Guadalupe It was a dark and stormy night. Me ship was listing badly due to the gaping hole in the bow from where the cannon ball hit us. We were taking on more water with every wave. I was determined to go down with her if she went down, but the last five of me men to survive the battle grabbed me and tied me up in the skiff and pushed off as the hull sank into the howling sea. We drifted for days, weeks, and until we had lost all sense of time. Grundy, he died of thirst, and Trundell went mad and jumped out of the skiff into shark infested waters. That left me and the last three lads. One day a gull flew on the horizon and we knew there had to be land near by. We used our hands to paddle toward the gull and in a few days we hit the shore, exhausted and starved. So we went to McDonald’s Golden Arches to revive ourselves and got a couple of Quarter Pounders to regain our strength. There I met a Harley Davidson wench and she told me she would show me Texas if I could hold on. Not bein’ particularly opposed to holdin’ on to wenches, I saddled up and we rode off on the hot asphalt highway. I got dried out so fast I thought my teeth would fall out and me britches shrank more than I expected. League after league, (like miles but the way pirates measure ocean depth), flew by and soon I saw a sign that said “Cibolo Creek”. I was getting sore in certain places so I yelled at the wench to pull over and of course she didn’t hear me right away and by the time I got her attention we were in Bulverde, TX. Up to now she seemed alright and besides she had offered me a ride. But there was a gleam in her eye as the sun reflected off of her golden front tooth. It was when she winked at me I started to think that she might not really be a wench after all and I determined that it would be in me own best interests to part company at that point. So soon I found meself hiking across the plains of Bulverde when I heard the familiar voices of the three lads I’d left behind. I told them the tale of my trip and they said I was lucky to have escaped the clenches of “Fun Time Fanny”, who they said was well known in the area. With no ride and it bein a hot day we decided to find the shade of a tree to rest under and the conversation turned to better days in Madagascar. Days of pillage and plunder before the last battle and the sinking of me beloved ship, The Black Fog. We decided to lighten our load and carry on with only our essentials. So we left our booty, weapons, and eye patches under the tree, (the oak tree, not the cedar tree), and headed off to become ranch hands, cowpokes, and goat ropers in the Hill Country. We BBQ-ed me Parrot and used me hand hook for the sausage on a stick. Soon the booty and weapons were taken by scoundrels and the last time we gathered under our favorite tree only the eye patches were left. If you locate and visit our favorite shade tree please take an eye patch as a memento and sign the book with your best pirate phrase. An “Arrrrrrgh!” at the end is expected. Every September 19th is National Talk Like A Pirate Day and you may find something special going on that day. Captain Slappy PS: The cache owner is the property owner so you may get a wave and hearty pirate greeting like, "Ahoy Matey!" Please "Ahoy" back if you're doing OK or shout for "help" if you are lost. The three legged dog is the neighbor's. He and the other two are fenced in. They bark but have never caused any problem to us or cachers.
Additional Hints
(Decrypt)
Ng gur onfr bs gur Bnx Gerr - gur bar jvgu ab ynetr prqne gerrf nebhaq vg.