It is a little known (and completely untrue) fact that long before the British and French (or even the Vikings) visited North America, a small tribe of Visigoths crossed the Atlantic in paper boats constructed from abandoned wasp nests, sailed down the St. Lawrence river and settled here in what is now known as southern Ontario. It is most likely that they left Europe so as not to be associated with the suicidal attack on the Balkan peninsula, but it may also have been a form of religious protest, sparked by a vigourous debate upon the scriptures relating to the curing of cheese.
Unlike their modern counterparts these Goths did not wear eye liner, and were often seen wearing colours other than black. They were a peaceful people who lived in relative harmony with the local Ojibwe tribes. They soon settled into a quiet pastoral life, marred only by their inability to make any cheese, since due to an unforeseen tragedy all of their boats carrying goats had sunk while crossing the ocean.
It took several years for the settlers to overcome the setback of the missing cheese, but once the disappointment had passed they were a more prosperous people, having been freed from their fanatical devotion to dairy products. All was not well however. While hard working and for the most part cheerful they were not a terribly enlightened or intelligent people. They had little use for writing, and next to no knowledge of arithmetic or software development despite an innate fondness for powers of two. They also had next to no skills in the art of interior decorating, and while being quite resolute about their choice of colour, they seemingly had no aesthetic sense.
Another oversight in the planning of their migration had resulted in an untenable ratio of males to females, and eventually the numbers of the tribe began to dwindle. The Elder Futhark realized that soon they would all be dead, and lest they be forgotten as well he carved a Runestone that described the location of their village, which contained their treasures and the last record of their lore. The Elder feared that thieves would steal their secret cheese recipes, so he encrypted the Runestone to the best of his meagre abilities. Soon after the stone was completed the tribe passed into oblivion.
Since the settlers were neither wealthy nor particularly bright, it has always been rumoured that their stronghold held nothing of value and is in fact nothing but a small metal can cleverly sealed with rubber. In antiquity this paucity of treasure kept the cache safe from thieves, but in modern times we are motivated by more than just monetary rewards, and archaeologists would like to unearth the stronghold in order to study the history of this interesting, but somewhat confused civilization (or at least boost their geocaching stats).
The Runestone has been recently discovered, but has proved impossible to decipher due to the severe effects of weathering. It is being offered to the geocaching community in the hopes that some intrepid souls will discover the secret of the runes. Certain revisionist historians have even expressed an interest in visitors to the site exchanging some of the artefacts for more interesting ones in the hopes of improving the memory of these long lost and silly people. These same historians would like to stress that the Goths did not bury their stronghold, and searchers should not disturb any nearby structures whilst attempting to find the cache.
