What’s your hurry? Come on in and have a seat. I’ve
got a spot for you right here in the Bob Uecker section where you
can be sure to catch every word. Okay, I know the type. Let’s
see now… you just want to get to the cache. You don’t
want to read about the history or the culture of the grounds.
You’ve already scrolled down and didn’t even find the
end of this long-winded tale but you got far enough to know that
you will read it only as a last resort. Fine. I recommend that you
just stop right here and go find the cache. Well what are you
waitin' fer? Git! And may the force be with you.
You’re still here? What’s this? A disturbance in the
force? Okay, you might not be in it to the end just yet but you are
doin' the right thing, neighbor. While it ain’t the gospel, I
do believe that for all who dare the quest, the closer you read and
understand what I’m trying (not) to tell you, the better your
chances of a quick and easy find. First, you’ve got to get
your head wrapped around the reason why the Codewrights made such a
geeky project of this one little hide. Well, sir; the first thing I
want you to know is that our first 20 caches weren't no piece of
cake. I know some of you have a thousand or five thousand or
elevendy gazillion finds already, but we are just a couple of noobs
from Texas celebrating the big two-oh, and let me tell you, some of
them were a real bear. I've been in briars, been through thick
brush, and trails with puddles so deep. How deep? You’re
probably not gonna believe this but we thought we found a real nice
hat floatin' on top of one of them puddles until we realized it was
a man on horseback. Hey, where you goin? Now just sit down for a
minute this ain’t gonna take long. I see that you ain't
laughin. And you are lookin mighty impatient. Okay, you obviously
didn’t come here to read about our 20 little caches, so
let’s get to the point…
You are no doubt a veteran of the craft, right? So you’re
probably thinkin... this noob has found how many caches? Why
I’ve got more gc stickers growing wild on the back of my car
than that. One of you was probably that man on horseback with
the wide-brim Tilley and you were out makin' light work of a few
5/5's before breakfast. And sure, I might have to change this one
to a 1. Some will walk right up and snatch it, no doubt. It's right
there, it really is. I'm here to check on it at least once a week
so if it's lost I will know about it. I know it happens. I too was
once lost, but now I'm found. Aww snap! I promised the microcoder I
wouldn't preach, so hey, as Larry might say, I apologize for that
there.
Well I’m gettin off the point agin so lets move on.
What've we got so far. Let me have a little look-see at your notes.
We have the 20-cache noobs, no cake, elevendy gazillion, somethin
about a bear and a brush and a wet dude with a fifty-dollar hat.
You want more? Why I’ve done everything but tell you where it
is! Okay you’re gettin me confused. Switch that. I’ve
done nothin but tell you where it is. That’s right. You've
got the coordinates but all that stuff about a bear and the briars
and elevendy ga-whatevers is worthless. Now I didn’t say that
there hat was worthless but that’s not because it
would help you find the cache, and after all, you can’t take
it with you now can ya? Okay I apologize for that there; now sit
back down we’re about to get to the good part.
Now this ain’t just more of that I apologize for that
there stuff. You really need to pay attention here, so are you
listenin? Wake up your neighbor sittin there cause I don’t
want nobody to miss this. You did bring some family or at least a
friend, right? Hey, sit back down! I’m talkin about when
you’re out huntin’ them there bison critters. The more
eyes and brains you have on the hunt the better, and brother, this
ain't no time to start singin solo. Oh, sure you can go it alone
but why? If you do find it, ain’t nobody gonna believe it. I
don’t care if you are that there fella with them elevendy
gawhatevers. Maybe you are listed in the FTF hall of fame. They
will still think you got here on that day Codewright was here and
you roughed him up a bit and made him talk. (Yeah, like you’d
have to rough me up to get me to talk.) One more thing about that.
If you bring someone who's already found it, tell them to set back
and let you have a go at it. Have a little (okay close your ears
for a second) faith.
Okay now I’m gonna stop messin with you and help you out
here for real. If you are a noob like us, trust me. You have as
good a chance here as the old pros. You're lookin for a small micro
smaller than my pinky finger with a log sheet in it. No, not in my
pinky finger, in the cache! Are you gettin sleepy or what? You will
need to bring your pen or pencil unless your friend has one. (Did I
mention that you should bring a friend?) No, it ain't buried in the
ground. I read the rules, neighbor. I read the rules many times and
even though I don’t follow all of them all of the time, I
know that I am whiter than snow, yes whiter than snow. Hey, where
you goin? Come back here I’m almost done. I was just
seein’ if you were payin attention. Okay I apologize for that
there, and I’m just about done here so don’t be playin'
like you’re gonna bolt.
Now lean in here real close cause I’m gonna let you in on
a little secret. The fact of the matter is, I don't really know how
hard this will be to find. I walked away from it, shut my eyes and
turned round and round a few dozen times then came back all by
myself with my gps and was able to find it in less than 10 seconds.
Now that bummed me out because I really put a lot into this, and I
really thought you'd have to put your heads together to stand a
decent chance. I hope you find it to be more challenging than that.
Agin there you go with the not laughin. Look you’re almost
done readin and you can get to the serious cachin.
Now if I may just interject somethin here before you run off,
you probably know far better’n me that there are all kinds of
ways to hide a micro. Now combin' the thorny brush for a difficult
micro with nothing but coords is what we Codewrights would call the
brute-force method. And although that can be quite rewarding, we
hope that we have made this challenging enough that the subtle
hints and clues are an essential part of the hunt. If we have
accomplished what we set out to do, even with our limited
experience (did I mention that we are noobs?), you will find
adaquate hints and clues here and there to hinder you along your
way.
One more thing. You better find it fast and keep it on the down
low. You go talkin too much and you’re gonna get us in more
trouble than a long-tail cat in a room full of rockin chairs. Now
look, I’ve already said too much (Can I get an amen on
that?) but don’t go gettin’ the idea that I’m
some sort of preacher man. The preacher man is a real good fella
like from Mayberry or some place and a hard workin man, too.
He’s here like most of the time teachin’ a class or
just differnt stuff so if you see him, just make like the penguins
on Madagascar. (Smile and wave.) He ain’t a geocacher (yet)
but he has given this geocache his blessing, uh, I mean permission.
And after all, we do find joy in not takin' ourselves too seriously
sometimes but I’m afraid this ain’t gonna be one of
those times. Now he seems like a real nice fella but he’s big
enough to go duck huntin with a yard rake, and if I were a real
preacher man and gave my permission for somethin like this and come
to find that there non-flattery type preacher picture up there
I’d be mad as a bull dog chewin on bumblebees. You know.
I’m just sayin. So me and the microcoder might have to high
tail it back to Texas in a real hurry. So be reeel quiet and
don’t say nothin to nobody. Naw I’m just pulling your
leg. I’m sure he’d just put me in that Bob Uecker
section for a few weeks and everything would be fine.
Oh, and if by some small chance you’re stumped, log a
message to tell me or just send me message if you prefer. I can
give you another small hint or a big hint or I might even come out
and meet you just so I can meet another cacher. Please don't give
any hints in your log message. Even if you think your pitch is a
worthless tease, it may be just enough to ruin the hunt for someone
else.
Happy hunting!
