Dogboy's Dogtags-Boomer Drool

Unlike the real Boomer Drool, my goal is to stick with you for only a little while. Place me someplace so that I can cling to others for a little bit.

As I grew up my father always wanted a Basset hound. One day he came home and said to my mom and me, "Let's go for a ride, I have something to show you." Well a long story short is that he/we got a Basset hound. His name was Boomer. If any of you have owned a Basset hound you know that they drool...A LOT!!! We didn't. Boomer had the uncanny knack for slinging slobber and either hitting a person in the forehead (usually first time guests) or landing the unsavory glob of spittle upon your ice cream. Thus making you surrender your ice cream to him. We affectionately called these Boomer bombs "Lungers" or "Lungers of death." People lost the power of speech and reason after being hit by a lunger. Many times they would stand there helplessly while someone in the family would grab the slobber or "Lunger towel" and calmly wipe them dry. Maybe his ooze contained some unknown neuro-toxin that prevented these victims from moving. Thinking about it now these Lungers of death could be part of the hunting tactics of Basset hounds in order to catch their prey.

Now I'm not sure about the chemical properties of Basset hound saliva, but it had two interesting characteristics. The first characteristic is that when wet, it is probably the most slimy and viscous substance known to man. I'm sure that ancient Egyptians used Basset hound saliva to help move the heavy blocks that make up the pyramids. The second quality of Basset Jowl Discharge or BJD is that once dried it has a strength equivalent to super glue. This I'm sure is the reason why the blocks of the pyramids remain today. The will never move. BJD does not come off. Solvents cannot remove it, and in fact my mother still has a BJD stain on the ceiling that has resurfaced after numerous attempts to paint over it for almost ten years. Thus this Dogboy Dogtag has been release to commemorate the wonder of "Boomer Drool" and may it stick with you as you travel, but only for a short while.