The Geo-Tank!

This truck might not be biggest or the baddest, but it has yet to have fail me!  Thsi tank of a truck has driven far and wide, down gullies and up hills that other Geo-Mobiles have balked at and turned away.  Concrete, Asphalt, Gravel, Dirt, Mud, Rocks, Curbs, Creekbeds, it's done it all!  This trucks mission is to safely and fearlessly take me and my friends & family safely from cache to cache!

~~I should start by saying that if you are looking for a “Pajama party Barbie Jeep” you my friend, should keep looking.  If you are looking for a short description of to the beast before you, I can offer you two words “MEAT & POTATOES”. This is the All American, Geocache huntin' chariot of the free world.

You are not dealing with any ordinary, cookie cutter Toyoda, son. This thing was forged from a single block of all American Tungsten Steel. Real sturdy!  In fact, it's practically a Tank! From that day forward my life has never been the same.  Winch yourself off that couch and see if you can handle this American Made Monster. 

So if you are looking for a rice burning hatch back, a solar powered liberal mobile, or even a Hyundai crossover keep on looking my friend this thing is a piece of red white and blue Americana Machinery.  This baby’s pulse is pumping 5.3 liters of uncensored raw fuel through a 295 hp, 16 valve, big V-8 nuclear power plant. And rest assured this is no metro feminine belt drive tranny. . .you command the terrain to obey, with your calloused hand planted firmly on the wheel and let this  4-speed gear drivin' rock bustin', pull a tree down for your grandma American Transmission tear up the trail for you. And she will obey, the first time, every time all while poundin' the ground with 330 ft-lbs of pure raw torque. If you can’t handle real power, or reach the gas pedal, you better not ferry skip over here wanting to test drive her.

If you are looking for the kind of truck that has to be pansy parked in the garage, so the “carpet doesn’t get wet and
soggy” Then you should plant your Obama sticker on some Japanese piece of shut-your-mouth. Cause this thing has the
power to turn the weather my friend, and nothing is going to make it shy away. Bring on the hurricanes, hell, & High water.
Because you are William Wallace from Braveheart and when you get home you can leave your “sissy sponge glove car wash kit” in the pink bucket it came in. Go ahead and spark up your 6000 psi heated pressure washer on the dually trailer in your man cave, cause you are a real man with more to important things to do like shave while you’re doing 80 over some mountain pass or flooded river.
If you’re thinking about Mexican chrome bumpers for her, think again. The bumper bashers come hand forged in a blacksmith shop in Franklin County over a wood burninfire, out of 4 inch well casing, and railroad tracks and then I
welded em to the damn chassis. Plus this thing is covered in body armor, not just to keep the brush and rock from bangin'
her up, because it just plain looks bad ass.  Plus is has tow hooks in the front and a big heavy duty hitch in the back.  That way if you get deployed you can piggy back this war wagon on a deuce and a half and chain her down tight from the four corners, so you don’t lose her when your convoy gets hit by a Taliban roadside suicide bomber.
And forget about putting one of those “Life is good” stickers on this machine cause when you’re spotted in this American
Classic there will be no questions, no further explanation required, people will understand and get out of your way. . …real quick.
If you think you’re ready to park this panty hauler on your tract of land. If you are ready to pilot the Top Gun Maverick
of the road, you better go get your lady friend ready for some changes around your lair, cause this will be happening. What
will be Happening? Glad you asked….
1. More chest hair.
 2. You’re growing a beard.
 3. Meat Only Diet.
 4. T-Rex for a pet.
 5. You’re taking a job at the lumber mill.
 6. Your car carries five kegs.
 7. [Expletive Deleted]
 8. Catch more fish.
 9. Wire bristled toothbrush.
 10. Bonfires in the yard.
 11. Stereo in the garage.
 12. All male offspring.
 13. Chiseled jaw line.
 14. Not giving a darn.
 15. Flesh turning to steel.
 16. Higher salary
 17. Promotions.
 18. More Fishing.
 19. More Hunting.
 20. More Camping.
 21. More Geocaching.
 22. More tools in your garage.
 23. Bigger TV
 24. Wife takes out the trash
 25. Path-tags
 26. Munzees.
 27. Clothes on floor.
 28. Wife stocks Cabinets with Beef Jerky.
 29. Chuck Norris.
 30. Bruce Lee
 31. Steaks for dinner.
 32. Winning the Lottery.
 33. Geocaching Tools.
 34. Smokey & the Bandit.
 35. Welding stuff.
 36. Digging holes.
 37. Huge collection of Travel Bugs.
 38. Huge collection of Geocoins.
 39. Log Rollers.
 40. Ammo Cans.
Mount your new Wide Screen GPS on the dash and head out to the thickets.  You're going to be ready for anything.  Sounds good doesn’t it?
This beast has carried me through 155,000 miles of battlefield twice as gruesome as the second half of the movie “300″. . ..And just like a trusty steed this juggernaut has never left me stranded. 
Want to come along? Ask, but I’m not guaranteeing the survival of anyone, unless you are clearly a ready to be a hardcore, up for anything, Geocaching nightmare warrior.  Cause when the SkyNet virus takes over, you better bet this is the machine you want to be caught in!